Russian Brides Cyber Guide
I was married to a Ukrainian woman for 4 years
You have a very interesting site. I was married to a Ukrainian woman for 4 years. It was mostly a very good experience. I think we loved each other - I know I loved her. For various reasons, some my fault and some hers, we did not completely mesh. There were the inevitable cultural differences but also personal ones. Our age difference was fine (9 years, she is 38 now and I am 47) but she is more of a socialite and I more of a homebody. We could not fully know how it would unfold over time.
Despite this, as I said, it was mostly a very good and exciting experience. I remember our early days, how challenging but rewarding to grow closer as we lived together and I taught her about America. There are many good memories that will last a lifetime.
Anyway, it was not a disaster or tragedy. Just maybe two people too different to stay together. I do miss her. But because it was a good experience overall, I am trying again and hope to use what I learned.
I will say, that after reading the information on your site, it is very accurate and fair. Your treatment of the myths is very good. More guys should look at this before venturing in.
In marriage, I feel that it is very important that your interests and life style correspond. It is true that there are people who enjoy a lot of social interaction and need it for a feeling of well-being. Sometimes people underestimate or forget about it concentrating solely on mutual goals and values, but the compatible pace and momentum of life are also very important for a marriage to be a success.
Question about adaptation
Q: Hello Elena,
I must tell you that I've immensely enjoyed reading your website and wish very much to support it (and you) somehow by use.
However, I have already found my Russian lady whom I intend to marry. Apparently, after reading your site, I may have done many things wrong. But I am unsure. Luckily, my fiancee was able to cover them. If you are interested some time, my story is a little different, almost more western.
Now I'll stop depriving you of your time and come to other questions. Unlike the 'myth' of the American man, I do not desire a woman to take care of my home. I'm quite capable of that on my own. I am, however, looking for an equal 'partner'. As you wrote of the women who must grow wise at a young age, I've done the same and have found women of my age group to be lacking in such things. I am sorry that I digress. When she comes to the states, she will have many things against her. We are both aware of this. As her husband, it will be my job to help change this. I will teach her how to drive well and buy her a car. Together we will work on her English and I will also learn Russian. This is important because she needs to be able to talk to me about her emotions. I've expressed a desire to live in a part of the city that has more Russians. She thinks it might keep her from learning English, but I know there will be much around. I want her to be able to make some friends quickly and easily so that she has additional support besides me. Until she feels more comfortable with English and can get a job, she will be 'stuck' at home and will go mad with boredom. I hope I can keep this from happening <wink>, but I take my responsibility as a husband seriously and that means helping her to grow. Do you think I am correct and wise to do this? What other advice would you give? How can I help her to find such friends and a job?
A: Dear James,
I think you should not try to persuade your wife to make many Russian friends. I know cases when communication with a Russian community was bad for marriages, and was even a reason for divorce.
Read "Leaving Katya" by Paul Greenberg (available on the Internet) - it is a book about a Russian woman married to an American and about how the Russian community sucked her in and broke the marriage.
The best is if your wife makes American friends. Try to make her involved in some charity work etc - not the activities where somebody will "help her" but activities where she needs to "help others". It will give her the feeling of importance and purpose in life, and make her adaptation easier.
If she needs Russian friends, you should rather encourage her to make friends with other Russian women married to American men living in your area. Here she will have a lot of help and useful information.
Send her to a college to study "English as second language", courses for foreigners - it is very cheap for women who arrive on fiancee visa. This will also keep her busy and allow her to make many new friends.
Russian people that moved to the USA on their own do not like women that marry Americans: they believe the women get it "too easy" while they had to suffer and get everything themselves. Russian people are also very envious of the successes of others, and can sometimes (mostly unconsciously) try to destroy their success. There is a story about a Decembrist's granddaughter during the revolution of 1917 (Decembrists were Russian revolutionists of noble class that organized the failed takeover 1827; some were executed, others sent to Siberia):
October 1917. The Decembrist's granddaughter sits at home in St Petersburg and hears the noise on the street. She sends her maid to find out what is going on. The maid comes back and says: "It is a revolution". "Revolution! - exclaims the Decembrist's granddaughter. - How wonderful! My grandfather was also a revolutionist. And what do they want?" "They don't want people to be rich," - answers the maid. "How strange, - says the Decembrist's granddaughter. - My grandfather didn't want any people to be poor."
This is the Russian type of envy: they do not want others to be rich (or successful). As I said, it is something unconscious. It's something that the Soviet generation sucked in with their mother's milk - "Everybody should be equal, no one should be more successful than I".
Russia is unique in the entire world
I like your site.
It's driving me crazy.... I still cannot believe it.
Anyway.... I have worked as a consultant in the IT industry internationally for 15 years. IBM, Unisys, Oracle, KPMG, Anderson and recently SCIENT in San Francisco.
My point? I've been intimately involved with a few large scale eCommerce and government initiatives; front and back end. Cisco, US Census, US Patent Office, US Air Force, United Airlines, City of Chicago, Nissen (Japan), KESKO (Finland, yada yada yada. )
Another, not big deal. Ok.
I do not know your history on the net, having only found you a few days ago.
I was impressed with your candor in your writings. When you speak honestly it resonates and people feel the truth. It's universal and can't escape it. I appreciate you telling it like it is.
I read a bio, ID 01781, of a "24 year old" Yulia. I thought, "Wow.... this is a Russian woman?" Flaunting abnormal anatomy in a green bathing suit???? That's a novel and new thing for your site. From reading who she is and who she wants, it sounded like she's got all the Western crap going on in her head. Puzzled, I finally saw the "Portland, USA" thing and no name, etc. I was disappointed to see a woman from the USA on the site.
(At the beginning of the next line, I lose my breath and pass out every time I see Olga, ID 03096. And Julia ID 01410 doesn't sound like she's interested in children…I'm going to go do the manly thing and cry my self to sleep! Your site is killing me.)
There comes a kind of philosophical decision. You kind of own the "credibility" market right now. You have names, testimonials, not afraid to show your picture and your family, names and cities of your clients. A refreshing and unusual open disclosure. A nice touch.
I didn't like the idea of having an American woman on the site. But I don't get to vote.
I think Russia is unique in the entire world. American women and most of the Western world's women are lacking in what I am seeing in your clients, i.e. values matter; honesty and security, family, love, respect, honor, caring. I notice the cross of Christ on the necklaces of many of the Russian women. I'm impressed.
I think I'll send you the ads from the SF papers. You'd be stunned at the apparent lack of morals and values. Marriage is for "old" people of a by-gone generation. God is kind of ignored. It's about sex, money, fast living. We've had it pretty good for the past 100 years and we're fat and happy. Gluttons.
Something different about women from a country that has struggled and bled for what we now take for granted.
Having traveled the globe a few times, worked in SF for the past 4 years, living in the USA all my life, I got to tell you, the values (or lack of), banal desires, focus, and direction of women in the USA are 180 degrees from what I'm seeing in your clientele (sp?).
Using carnal enticements or accouterments, like all the rest of the Internet and the world for that matter, will turn away a fine or cultured man. "Secrets of...", the allure and use of women as objects of sex, anything that smacks of the fast-lane Hollywood life, glorified by American TV, will lose your clients the more sensitive, gentle, kind men looking for real love and to be loved in return.
From what I can tell from reading the bios and your writings, these women have been through enough and need to be protected from pond scum.
I'm done. Didn't mean to turn this into a diatribe on the evils of American women.....because that's not true.
I'm just beat, this site is gnawing at my leg and I need some sleep.
You got a great thing going. It must be satisfying.
Thank you very much for the kind
Are there really women this beautiful out there looking to get married to American men?
I have been spending the better part of a week reading your site to learn about information on Russian women and your personal experiences. For the past year I have been interested in the prospect of gathering information about the details of meeting a mate from Russia. I am only 27 years old but I have been in some serious relationships and have even been engaged to be married but had them all fall through for different reasons. I consider myself a smart, decent looking guy and I haven't had too many problems getting dates when I want them, but I now find myself even more interested in exploring the idea of a Russian woman. I have always been a hard worker and have made a better living than any of my friends or most people my age so money has never been a big problem. I live in a city with a large University which has some of the most beautiful women in the United States so it's not a matter of not having women within reach.
I am beginning to get more serious in my search about Russian women which brought me to your site. Some of the questions that don't really get answered I wish to pose to you now. These are questions of opinion which is why I am reluctant to find good answers. I know from television, movies and the internet that Russia has very beautiful women. But what I seem to get mixed feedback from is exactly how many of these beautiful women actually are available and exactly how many of the women I see on the internet are just pictures. Some of the most beautiful women I see on various sites I can't imagine them having a problem finding a suitable mate. Are there really women this beautiful out there looking to get married to American men?
Well, I can say in my own words: Yes, there are women this beautiful out there looking to get married to American (European, Australian and other) men; the photos that you see on the pages of specialized Russian dating agencies are photos of real women.
But let me rather give the word to men themselves:
Chris Dee (the author of "Simply The Best: The Complete Guide To Meeting Russian Women"):
"Ask any red-blooded Western man what type of car he would wish to own, regardless of cost, and I would place serious money that the answer would be a Ferrari, Lamborghini, Aston Martin, or maybe a Jaguar. A ragtop, or a sleek coupe that handles superbly, with mind-blowing acceleration that rams your eyeballs back into their sockets, is that what you look for? Well, take it from the 'Gospel according to Christopher', and the hundreds of men who have heeded the advice in this book; young, modern Russian women are the Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Aston Martins and Jaguars, of the female
Richard A. Blackwood ("Are you the American male looking for the Russian wife?"):
"Russian women are beautiful, sensitive, intelligent... I never saw a single Russian woman of child bearing years who wasn't absolutely gorgeous, their average woman will put our top supermodels to shame. Needless to say, but, I was like a kid in a candy store, you probably will be too!!! Russian women are the Cold Wars best kept secret, I can understand why!!"
Well, this is from the men who'd
been there, done that.
"Good work and Congratulations on a job well done"
Good morning Ms. Petrova;
I started reviewing the internet personals approximately two months ago. I soon realized I was seeing the same photos repeatedly. I was noticing other similarities that I felt needed clarification. I write of the use of certain phraseology by the ladies such as "intelligent", "wealthy", "strong and able to protect his One and Only". For the life of me I could not figure out what these words and phrases suggest and too, might they translate in to Canadian English.
Elena, to-day I had the opportunity (and good fortune) to stumble across your web site, Elena's Models and then on from there. My point to this address is to commend you and your partner and family for an absolutely masterful job at putting things into language I now understand. I now read the ads with a completely different view and I also read custom and culture into the girls' words.
The next item I want to address is your motto and specifically item #3. deliver! Elena, you have earned the right to capitalize that word, DELIVER! Why? .... because you have accomplished just that. You have given us, the customer, an incredible amount of assistance by way of free literature to help us understand you and your business. I have appreciated it so much I have already added you into the contact list. If you were before me I would give you one of those friendly hugs (with permission, of course).
The last mention is about the obvious business skills you and your husband enjoy. Consider me as one who truly admires and respects what the two of you have accomplished.
I suppose all this could have been said as, "Good work and Congratulations on a job well done".
You are welcome :-)
From a Russian woman
I admire you! Not only for the fact that you managed to find your happiness abroad, but how wonderfully you describe Russian women on your site! Excellent English, interesting and truthful information! I have sent a link to your site to one American, who recently, out of the blue, after seeing my website, wrote me a lengthy letter about "scam letters as the norm of Russian women" - he decided that I seemed to be an honest person and I would expose everything for him. Although the letter was polite, it was humiliating to read all those silly generalizations. Of course we all want to be happy. What is wrong with that? Nothing! And it is true that during some stage of your life it becomes difficult to imagine a Russian guy as your husband. Moreover, that I am living in Tatarstan and Russian men here have adopted some perverted Muslim ideas, and believe that a man is the boss regarding all aspects of life! Losing such a charming feature of Russian men as generosity of the soul (and wallet, too).
I have been married. Probably to prove the point that I was desired, or because I could not see the light at the end of this tunnel. It was a total nightmare. Thanks God I am a reasonably mature and accomplished person, and I did not tolerate it - we divorced within a few months and I did not fall pregnant (which was supposed to happen).
Due to my work, I am almost always on the Internet, and a couple of times registered on some dating sites (not Russian). Nothing special came out of it. Of course I was receiving letters. But it was a case of me not being ready or the guys being totally unsuitable, I don't know...
And in general, I don't feel comfortable. I would love to register on your site but it is difficult for me to step over the barrier. I do not want to be one of the thousands of Russian women seeking happiness, just like in your Myths. I already lack confidence!
The reason I am writing is to express my great gratitude!!! Really GREAT!!! That you have created such a wonderful site! That you have described and explained everything so well! At work we also translated a website about Russia - Russia the Great. The volume was big, but there was no soul in it. (Honestly, I wonder how foreigners read this unprofessional horror.) In addition, because of strict saving policy in our company, they did not pay me anything for the translation, it was "community work". And of course it finished in disaster :-)
By the way, I am 26 years old lady who is the chief of the translation department of a large Internet company, I am translating websites into English.
One more time - thank you very much! I wish you and your family happiness and health!!!
suggestions? We want to hear from you!
Why Russian Women? - If you decided to find yourself a Russian wife, you would be inundated with questions of the type "Why Russian Women?" from everybody you cared to share your idea with. Surprisingly, every Russian woman you are writing to will ask the same question: "Why do you want to find a wife in Russia?" After a while, you might start questioning your own sanity in doing the thing which everybody, including your dates in this Internet rendezvous, consider strange enough to request explanations. Here you will find some ready-to-use answers for your family, friends and Russian women you are writing to.Myths and Reality - There is too much prejudice towards Russian women seeking men, both positive and negative. I call this prejudice "myths", and consider them one by one.
Russian women secrets - Do's and don'ts in your relationship with a Russian lady.
The Universal Crib On Finding A Russian Wife - The most compressed, step-by-step guidance on finding, courting and marrying a Russian woman.
The latest E-book of Elena Petrova:
This is the book that will change the way you look at Internet dating. It will boost your success rate with Russian women in an instant. You will have more girls that want to be with you than you can handle!
And not just ordinary girls! They will be beautiful, intelligent, but most of all - HONEST AND SINCERE! You will be the one to take your pick!
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