Russian Brides Cyber Guide
Is it possible to have this site translated into other languages, like German and French?
Thank you for being here. I am proud that such a site exists, it shows that a Russian woman who happened to have been underestimated and misapprehended lately abroad for her trials to be happy, - she, like any other woman in the world deserves to be so and not only in her own country for all people are the same no matter where they are coming from"... it is a personality that counts first and not nationality", - as it is said precisely here on your site. It would be great to have this site translated into other languages, like German and French to start with. All this is a lot of work but is worth doing, really! I am Russian and my English is quite good to understand everything what is written, whereas my husband, being a Frenchmen, he can only touch the notes. I am sure that it would be easier for him to read it and no doubt he would be captured while reading, if there was a French version of the site too. Why it is so necessary? Your valuable advice and answers to many questions translated into other languages would allow to clear up many situations not only for the single men who are looking forward to being married with a Russian woman but those who already are. If it's practically impossible for you to have the site translated within the near future or in the future in general, could you publish the list of the-same-subject sites in French and German, if any exists. Good wishes, Maria
How do I know who is scammer and who is for real?
I am a Texas Lady who has been chatting with a younger man from the Ukraine. And one other young man from Yugoslavia Serbia in Belgrade. A gal pal of mine found your web site, and thought that you might assist me with my issues surrounding these two men that want to meet me and possibly marry me. Please let me know what you think, as I know this seems more geared towards Russian Women meeting Men. So any info would be greatly appreciated, as this is all so new to me and no one else that I know has ever met any one from Serbia or the Ukraine.
I really loved all of your answers as they seem to describe me, even though I am an American, I think in general, that most women want the same regardless of where they were born. But it sure was great to read the way you put it all down into words, as I stated above this is so new to me, this cyber dating, and I'm happy as well as scared. I placed my ad on American Singles in March of this year, and I have been chatting with two men. One from the Ukraine and one from Yugoslavia Serbia-Belgrade. I became so at ease reading your statements, as I do not want to play games with these two wonderful men. I did feel a bit guilty for chatting to both of them, of course they do not know about the other one, but they may be chatting with other women too, right, and like you stated they may find a local lady or even another foreigner, before we meet up. So for now, I just want help to be sure that these two gentlemen are for real, and not out to scam me. Thank you so much Jeanette.
Hello Elena. Thank you for your web site. I have found your information and insight into Russian culture and customs very interesting and very helpful. I am particularly intrigued by the Russian wedding custom and now look forward to a wonderful occasion. In particular I look forward to helping her best friend visit the UK for the wedding as a big surprise.
In a few weeks time my fiancée Inna
will arrive from the Ukraine. Inna is 27 and I am 47 though we have
met twice already (Inna came to the UK for ten weeks earlier this
year). Although my feelings for her are beyond words I cannot seem to
get a grasp of how exactly she feels about me. Certainly
The only disagreements Inna and I have experienced were misunderstandings when she thought I was being indecisive (trying to establish where she would like to go one day) or being cheap/mean when she thought I was trying to save money between restaurant menus (I was deciding whether to treat her to Tai or Chinese food - not price). When I adopted a more positive and dominant role in the relationship, Inna responded positively and became more relaxed. This is very much in contrast to how Western men are usually expected to behave. I am certain that any information or insights you can share with men like myself will be very much appreciated and will help Western men and Russian/Ukraine women find happiness in their lives together. Kind regards, John.
In Russia, a woman is expected to do all the housework and take care of children on her own, without her husband's help, plus have a full time job. This is one of the reasons why so many Russian women believe foreign men make better husbands (I would say, they are not wrong here), so a woman will not be very happy if the same family model is imposed on her abroad. Though taking care of home, making food and looking after children is considered in Russia a natural women's responsibility, women appreciate when men help.
But if you overdo with this help (i.e. do everything yourself and do no ask her for help), she might quickly jump on the opportunity and do nothing at home, unless you request her to do something. In Russia, people do not wait until somebody offers help; they feel if person needs help, they will ask for it - and it will be happily granted. But if you do not ask for help, it is unlikely a Russian will come and offer their help.
Also, explain your wife how finances work in your country: mortgage, credit cards, checks, social security, insurance and medical aid payments, etc. They do not have those things in Russia, everything is paid cash in advance or at the time of the service being provided.
Explain about the education and the system of admission to college, about holidays (they do not have any analogues of Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving and many other holidays), about social rituals (what is expected from her on which occasion).
Those are simple things that may cause big problems if they are not explained, because of difference in culture, and are not easy to pick up on her own. Don't think you will offend her; she will be happy you explain her those things. Just tell her that since she comes from a different culture, many things will be different for her and you do not want her to feel uncomfortable, so she must please be patient with you, if you seem to tell her things that she knows very well and that are the same in her culture. Among all the dozens things that are the same may be one or two things that are very different and may cause her to feel embarrassed if she did not know about them.
Will a Russian letter be acceptable
for Ukrainian lady?
I have been through what seems like thousands of profiles. Recently, I came upon a profile (and video clip) of a woman I am particularly interested in contacting. Unfortunately, she is not on this site, rather AFA. She is from the Ukraine. Naturally, I wish to make the best first impression. Although she lists her English ability as 'fair' I think she does not give herself enough credit (much better than fair to me.) She lists that she can also speak Russian. This is different than reading Russian. I would very much like to have her receive the most favorable impression of me, thus a translated letter makes perfect sense to me. Two questions:
Thank you for your time and assistance, Glen.
The Ukrainian government tries to make the use of Russian language illegal but even most private ads in newspapers are in Russian (companies' ads have to be in Ukrainian). It will be still quite a few years before Ukrainians will learn to read in Ukrainian.
Yes, you can order translation from us even though the person who it is intended for is not from our agency. We will send translation to you, and you will send it to the recipient.
What do Russian women think of guys with long hair?
I am asking this question and I am not sure if it a culture related or not. I am thinking about trying out your site, but one I think I must ask first. See I am 32 years of age and I work a lot, at a good job and I am looking to start a family, and I am not the greatest looking guy in the world and I have long hair. Do women in Russia find that to be offensive when a male has long hair, here many do. I know it sounds stupid, but I would like to know what you have to say. Thanks Adam
Will a Russian woman be interested in childless marriage life?
I read your article, "Mail Order Brides? Not!!!" and wanted to provide an observation and comment I hope you find useful. I am an intelligent, good looking, educated single man living in the United State since my divorce many years ago; Have used personal ads to meet women for dating and possible marriage. I am referring to personal ads in newspapers and the internet specifically targeted to local men and women in my local community. There always has been, and continues to be, a negative connotation about meeting via an "advertisement" from those who met their partners by other "more natural" means or "by chance". I don't think the media causes this negative impression, It's already in the minds of a good number of the individuals that comprise our population; and the media is only echoing a strong sediment that already exists. And our media treats the idea of an American man meeting Russian woman with the same distaste especially knowing the cultural differences provide additional pressures that can doom new relationships.
I recently became interested in Russian women when I learned they are
highly educated, hard working, unspoiled, and career oriented, not to
mention physically beautiful. I have a question that I hope you can
help me with because the answer is personally very important to me.
On etymological level, the Russian word "family" ("sem'ya") also means "marriage", i.e. Russian word "family" can also mean a union of two people without children. Any two people that are married are already considered as "family" according to Russian understanding of this word, regardless of they have children or not. The Russian word which can be now used as translation for the word "marriage" is "brak", which is a fairly new word in Russian, and this word also has another meaning - "defective". So through the years in Russia marriage was considered as family. Even now, you can often see words "I want to create a family" in questionnaires of Russian women. It is a stable expression for saying "I want to get married". Even women of 45-50 years use this expression. It does not mean that they want to have children in their marriage (they are physically unfit), only the desire to get married. But through the use of the word "family" in a stable language construction you can see that marriage and family mean basically the same thing for Russian women.
In fact, having 2 children on my own, I must agree that there are much more possibilities for people to enjoy life if they do not have children. Ultimately, there are much more possibilities for people to enjoy life if they are not married at all, which will provide diversity and wealth of experiences, including sexual experiences with multiply partners. Potentially, having multiply sexual partners can provide a person with larger variety of experiences than traveling the world. So at the end of the day, it is a question of moral obligations and ability to enjoy certain things without feeling guilty.
To be able to enjoy a definite life style, this life style should be acceptable for the person. Life style of a childless married woman is not acceptable for the majority of Russian women of child bearing age. It is only if she adjusts her ideas of what is acceptable, she can agree to this life style. But she cannot do it from outside the culture where such life style is acceptable, i.e. she cannot adjust to American norms of what is acceptable and what is not, being in Russia.
Actually, the most profound reason why Russian women seek husbands abroad is that an unmarried woman has no social status in Russia, where a respectable woman should be married, with children. In order to gain the respectable social status a woman has to lower her requirements to a potential mate (which will only produce an unhappy marriage and divorce in a short time as the result), or she has to look elsewhere.
Therefore, contrary to the popular belief, looking for a better life is NOT the most important reason that is driving Russian women to seek husbands abroad. The real reason is that they want to be considered as "worthy" by their reference group (people whose opinion is important for them), and this is why they seek marriage abroad (they don't mind to marry somebody from Russia, but because of demographic reasons it is difficult to fulfill in Russia - there are more women than men in Russia, 88 males for 100 females).
A childless marriage will be viewed by a Russian woman as "defective", and therefore will not cater for her need to gain the social status. This is the dynamics behind the phenomena. So the answer to your question if it is possible to find in Russia a single woman that agrees not to have children in a marriage is "Most likely not". But a woman may agree on childless marriage if: (1) she already has a child on her own or her children are grown up (she already fulfilled her obligation towards society as a mother); (2) she has a chronic medical condition that does not allow to have children; and (3) she is over 35 and already came to terms with the idea that she will never have children on her own. In those cases women will consider the idea of childless marriage.
I own several businesses and would also
like my future partner to help me run them, or for her to eventually
find some other career for herself that helps keep her mind active
while satisfying her need to contribute to something greater than
herself. Or to start some new business together if that would
help her feel more comfortable. I'm also a good cook and fix
many healthy meals at home for myself and friends, and I would enjoy
cooking with my partner more than having her take care of me by fixing
my meals. So I'm not looking for a woman to take care of me ... rather I want an equal partnership with a strong woman ... strong
in body, mind and spirit!
In your case, "testing the waters" will not work, because your target is a very small, exclusive group of people who are scarce to find. It is only a great exposure that can help you to find them, or your search will be destined to fail before you even start. I would not suggest bringing up your opinion about children in your ad, since it may produce an unfavorable (unconscious) impression about your ethics. Many women think a man who does not want to have his own children does not love children in general, with all the consequences arising from this fact, such as being inconsiderate, unkind etc.
If a woman does not raise the question of children in your correspondence herself, avoid discussing this question for as long as possible, preferably until you meet in person and fall in love. For a man she loves, a Russian woman will do anything. Especially, if she did not raise the question of children previously, which means it is not her highest priority. But if you raise the question on an early stage of the relationship, she can back up into self-defense and following her (unknown for her) built-in social programs.
Thank you for your attention to my
matter and concerns, and special thanks for your frank and honest
suggestions; in particular the idea of not mentioning my future "childless" preferences initially unless she brings up the
question prior to meeting. I have tried to get similar
suggestions from other agencies and been told those kinds of decisions
are up to me; which is unwise because I have no experience in these
I would like to get responses now to get my feet wet and see what's out there if you think my slow approach is not unduly unfair to the girls. I think it is in my best interest to begin taking responses right away and be patient in slowly developing a list of prospects before planning my first trip. My thought is that I would not get away with this slow approach if I was competing for the most marketable younger girls, while my smaller target group having fewer offers will afford me this additional luxury or time? And of course if a miracle occurred and it was unwise to delay I would have to adjust my timing and approach. I'm ready to get started now but also wanting to proceed slowly and cautiously.
3 years? No woman will wait for so long. After 3 months of correspondence they want to meet, or they feel you are just one of Internet romantics that write for ages but never appear in person. Russian women forums are full of stories like this, and all experienced women advise to drop the correspondent who is not willing to commit himself to a visit within half a year after 2-3 months of successful correspondence. The fact that a woman is not very young just makes her feel her time is ticking away real fast and in 1-2 years no one will be interested in her. Even if a woman likes you, she will choose another man who is more decisive because she cannot be 100% sure you will ever proceed with marriage. I know men who manage to keep the women on the hook for years but only after a personal meeting with them, and still, I feel it is unfair to the women to keep them waiting for so long. If you are unable to offer a woman a prospective of engagement to be married within 12 months, and possible marriage within 18 months (this is maximum), rather do not start this venture.
Will a Russian woman date a man who is overweight? How is weight seen in Russia?
Americans have a serious problem with overeating, and as a result are obese. Since I'm an overweight man, I was wondering if a Russian woman would be less likely to consider me for life partner? Thanks Jaric
suggestions? We want to hear from you!
Why Russian Women? - If you decided to find yourself a Russian wife, you would be inundated with questions of the type "Why Russian Women?" from everybody you cared to share your idea with. Surprisingly, every Russian woman you are writing to will ask the same question: "Why do you want to find a wife in Russia?" After a while, you might start questioning your own sanity in doing the thing which everybody, including your dates in this Internet rendezvous, consider strange enough to request explanations. Here you will find some ready-to-use answers for your family, friends and Russian women you are writing to.Myths and Reality - There is too much prejudice towards Russian women seeking men, both positive and negative. I call this prejudice "myths", and consider them one by one.
Russian women secrets - Do's and don'ts in your relationship with a Russian lady.
The Universal Crib On Finding A Russian Wife - The most compressed, step-by-step guidance on finding, courting and marrying a Russian woman.
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