Advice on succeeding in your search for a Russian wife. How long correspondence usually takes? Is it possible to find in Russia a lady who is interested in Christian morality? Are women there really this sweet?
Russian Brides Cyber Guide
Are there really so many professional women - doctors, accountants, economists, teachers? I saw a few ads of women who state to be practicing doctors in 22, but it's impossible!
In Russia medical doctors are allowed to practice right after college, and it takes only 4-5 years to study, so if they started when they were 16-17 after graduating from a school, a lady is likely to be a practicing physician at 22. As medical aid is free in Russia, doctors are paid almost nothing (read more about it in "Russians" section) and even this nothing is paid months later.
It's very easy to become a practicing doctor
in Russia, it's very low paid and requires hard work. Many women leave
medicine to work in, for example, sales, only because they don't have
enough money to feed their families.
It's also no problem to receive a good education as economist, accountant or computer programmer. Education is quite affordable; and if you have good knowledge of the subjects, you can even get it for free.
Women who try to find a partner outside Russia are usually better educated and intelligent enough to start this adventure. As Russians rarely relocate, and normally live the whole life in the same city and even in the same flat, a lady must be brave enough to consider finding a foreign husband as an option.
I know women who are PhD at 25! And have to look for husbands abroad...
In Russia the situation with children is a
bit different. Not to say that they don't love their children, probably
just love them not enough. Children always stay with their mother after
divorce and never with fathers.
Children are considered to be a burden.
Fathers often run away from paying maintenance, and use tricks like
having two jobs and paying maintenance from the lowest paid one (in
Russia maintenance is paid as percentage of salary). Fathers are rarely
involved in the upbringing their children from a previous marriage.
They do not see them, not because women don't allow but because they
don't want to.
I had 2 friends who were divorced with
children, and their fathers never saw them. Of course, not all of men
act like this but the vast majority.
A woman with a child is very lucky to get
married the second time. Men do not want to take responsibility for
somebody else's child.
So I assume if a woman is looking for a life partner abroad, the father of her child does not care.
If you are interested in REAL Russian women, you must accept that they will not respond your letters promptly, even if you forward them; they speak poor English; they don't really know what they want; they are too shy to express their feelings, and many will prefer corresponding via regular mail. Very seldom does a real Russian woman have everyday access to email, and even then, they delay answering letters.
My friends answer 3-7 days after receiving
my messages, it's normal. If a woman does not have everyday access to
email, a letter by mail can reach her before she finds time to check
her mail box in Internet cafe (normally women do it once per 10-15
If you rush, you will just pick up gold diggers all the time.
I want to do everything right from the very beginning, and I want to write the right letter of introduction. Any advice?
You must be clear and precise about things, and avoid being too general. Discussing your opinions about family life is important, but do not forget to supply a lady with all the important information she is looking for.
If you own a house, tell about it. If
you own some businesses, tell about it.
If you live in a small town, tell about the town and what life there is
like. Tell about the climate and what entertainments are close by.
Try to tell about the things not as if you are numbering them, but from your own personal experience. For example, "I own 3 bedroom house" will sound better if you say "I like my house; it's cozy and comfortable, and there is enough space for visitors - 3 bedrooms, if somebody of your family wants to visit us one day."
You've got the idea? Don't just tell about
the things but give your personal emotional assessments, all women ARE
emotional by nature.
Say that you are serious, if you are going
to visit Russia one day, what kind of life she will live if comes to
the country as your wife. You probably think it's dull things and it
goes without saying; NO, you MUST mention it.
You must not try to look too good. Women like strong, powerful men, who are not easy to handle, but will appreciate if it's only SHE who can do it. Women in general don't like men who are nobody's target.
Check your spelling when send letters to girls. If your letter is full of spelling mistakes, it looks messy. Just use the option Tools from your word processor.
More about it in the part Your First Letter.
I guess I repeat myself, repeat myself, repeat myself... BUT you guys ask the same things again and again.
RUSSIAN LADIES FEEL VERY INSECURE, AND HAVE VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
was the perfect example. Russian reality makes a person think she is
worth nothing. I am only starting to believe that I am beautiful,
intelligent and talented. Many people told me about it, and I guess
there should be a bit of truth, as so many people can't be mistaken. It
looks like I am curable but it will take time.;-)
OK, it's all lyrics.
OK, it's all lyrics.
For a girl your relationship is not real
until she meets you in person. My colleagues from local Russian
agencies told me that only about 5% of men who write letters to girls
ever visit Russia. It's why girls need to be told that you are serious,
that you are planning to visit Russia and when, that you are really
interested in her. She will hardly believe in it, but at least she will
feel more secure that you are not just wasting her time.
Many girls told me they were dumped by their foreign friends. The girls refused other guys, and then their virtual boyfriends said "Sorry", they found a girlfriend in USA or corresponded with several ladies and decided on another.
It's why I say that when you think you have found your one and only, tell her straight away about that and try to see her as soon as possible. You don't have to rush into marriage, but as long as you know the person good enough, you must go and see her. Usually the guy who first meets a lady, will get her.
It depends on the couple, but usually couples meet after exchanging 5-15 letters. If you correspond via email, it will take much faster. The aim of correspondence is not to do it for a definite period of time but to know each other better. You can write only 1 letter but if you talk to each other few times by phone, you will have often more information about another person than if you have been corresponding for years.
I know cases where a couple met after 1 month, and fell hopelessly in love with each other; and where two were successfully corresponding for 2,5 years and were deeply disappointed by personal meeting.
As a rule, as soon as you feel that the other person is the right partner, go and see your pen pal. If you hesitate, you may happen to be too late.
For the same reason you cannot start your search for Russian wife 2 years in advance, you will just waste your time. You must be able at least to find a week to visit your virtual girlfriend when you have decided she is the right one.
My opinion is that 25 years difference is
too much, but I also know the cases when it worked. Ask the girls
themselves, why not? Tell them exactly what you told me, and listen to
It's certain that your financial stability has a distinctive impact. Women live nearly in poverty in their native country, and they want to make sure that with all the problems of relocation they won't have another one with everyday survival.
A woman must be confident that you will be able to provide for the whole family, and she wants to raise her children in a happy and stable atmosphere. So your financial circumstances help, but no one will be attracted to a stupid and arrogant person; women always take your personality in consideration.
Nevertheless, as a rule you should avoid candidates that you feel are too young .
The thing about responses - many ladies
check their mail boxes occasionally, once every week or two. The
responses will come. If a lady gave you her postal address, you can
write to this address, sometimes you can get response quicker than via
The best remedy for unanswered letters is to
send another one, saying that you sent her a letter a while ago and now
are worrying as to why she is not responding.
Yes, it's that simple. Tell her that you are
REALLY interested in her, and would like to hear from her. Ask her to
respond if she is not interested, just to let you know. Tell her that
every day you check your mail box to see if there is a response from
Russian women are very insecure about
themselves. The question I am asked the most "Can I really find a man
who will be interested in me?". The usual fear is "I can't believe that
this intelligent kind man is really interested in me."
The other thing: Russian women do NOT
respond promptly. She can answer a letter in 2 weeks time, and even
then not think it's too late.
If you have a lady's postal address, ALWAYS send a letter by mail when send email message (at least, in the very beginning when you don't know each other well).
You must not tell too much about your religious views. Say that Christian values are very important for you but do not go in depth. Ladies do appreciate Christian moral values, they just cannot follow them in everyday life because of objective reasons.
A Russian woman will accept her husband's life-style, just don't try to do it from the very beginning of your new relationship. Life in Russia is completely different. It's so bad that one hardly can believe in God and that such a mess could have been created according his will. A woman will change her attitude in the West, and will accept Christian moral values with pleasure and devotion.
I would also hesitate if a man started to talk about religion from the beginning, because I would feel that I did not meet his expectations.
Yes, Russian women are giving. They usually
take care of their husbands like they do of babies, if you can understand
what I mean. Russian men are used to be cared for; and don't really
value it, for them it goes without saying.
For example, if you visit a guy at his home, he will expect you to wash the dishes, and even cook a dinner for the you two. So if you are willing to take care of her, she will do her best to make you happy.
Yes, it's true that the most desirable women
are available only for a while. Though sometimes it happens that a lady
is not happy with her initial choice, and has to hunt for a partner
again. I have a few stories from ladies who refused to many candidates
to just discover that the man they chose was not the one-and-only. Also
some ladies said that their correspondents decided to meet another
woman, and left them high and dry. All were very beautiful and
So, as you see, you must act fast, even if a
lady is not engaged or married, she may already stop accepting new
candidates. You must be able to attract her attention in the moment
when she has just started her search.
For example, my husband was one of the few
men who I wrote a letter to on the day when I decided to start my
search. (I responded to several ads from our local newspaper.) Even if
at a later stage I had received dozens of letters from very attractive
successful men, I did not pay attention, as I was already involved in a
Even if a woman corresponds with a few men (as it usually happens), she always has a favorite. A favorite may change from time to time. The favorite attracts the most attention and feelings.
What can make one a favorite? At first, it's man's personal qualities, financial situation and appearance, but on a later stage it's how he represents himself and how he feels about the woman (and how he shows his feelings). Women in Russia feel very insecure, and will have more appreciation for the candidate who gives them his full attention.
Ask your lady to talk to you by phone. I understand you hate being suspicious, me too, but it will help you to get rid of black thoughts. A Foreign Affair offers the service of conference calls with translation for about $5 or so for a minute. Ask your lady if you can talk to her by phone, and if she does not have one at home, which is quite possible, ask her to arrange it through friends.
Also, send a letter via registered mail or Russian courier service EMS GarantPost (Express Postal Services in USA). Russian postal services require an addressee to have a valid identification, and do not leave letters to neighbors or relatives as other courier services like FedEx or DHL do.
Other advice from Anatoly Neverov, one of Russia's matchmakers - send your lady flowers. Usually gift delivering services offer to make a photo of your lady with a gift.
You won't become a victim of Russian mafia as long as you don't carry thousands of dollars in your pocket.
Guys from mafia are not as bad as you think.
I knew a few people from what you will call Mafia - they are not bad
people in every day life. Some of my classmates are married to guys
from "mafia". I know their husbands from before they were involved in
organized crime. There are many ex-sportsmen between them.
Actually, neither Russian mafia nor government are concerned about foreign tourists. It's completely safe to walk in the cities. Make all your purchases and exchange currency only in official places and never use "help" offered by the people you hardly know.
It's possible to find your way in Russia if you get lost. I know quite a few people who did not speak a word of Russian, and traveled around the country on their own.
When you get lost, you will have to ask probably a few people about your way, but eventually you will find somebody who can speak English. Russians are very helpful, and will be glad to assist you.
I am glad for your part.
When you feel you have found your one and only, do not postpone visiting your lady; the sooner, the better.
Find out from her how she feels about you. Ask to remove your data from catalogues, if she says that she feels strong towards you. Be open with her. Say that you received plenty of letters (I guess so), but you liked only her, and said to other girls "Thank you". She can always check, and she will see that you are serious.
Even if you cannot go to Russia soon, tell
her she is the one and only. Say her you don't want to look further,
and you could not dream about better luck.
Women in Russia feel very insecure (I guess, I talk too often about it), and it's why they correspond with a few guys. Usually the first one to visit a girl will get her. She does not know you or any other guys that well, so she just chose a few who basically meet her requirements.
Even if she feels very strong for you she may still be in correspondence with other guys. Some girls (very nice girls) said to me that they stopped corresponding with other guys and asked agencies remove their data, and then a guy said "Sorry, I found a fiancee in USA" or that he decided to see another girl. It happens! Imagine how the lady must feel.
Yes, I can. Currently I have subscribers in 42 cities of the former Soviet Union, including Moscow, St Petersburg, Kiev and Minsk, and I can connect you to a local agency that will be happy to arrange everything you need from meeting at the airport and accommodation to full-time translator and sightseeing. Click here to contact us.
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