Russian Brides Cyber Guide
By Robert Elias Najemy, Copyright 2004
Our Love is Mixed With Need
Our "love" is still mixed with a considerable amount of "need". Love wants to give. Need wants to take. Sometimes what we are seeking to take is very subtle and requires deep inner inquiry.
Whenever we feel pain, fear or anger in our relationships, it is because we believe that our needs are in "danger" of not being satisfied. When this happens, our "love" turns to hurt, disappointment, fear, loneliness, inferiority, or bitterness, and sometimes, anger, hate, rage and desire for revenge.
How can love become all these negative emotions? It cannot. The simple truth is that our emotion never was pure love to begin with. It was an "attraction" based to some degree also on need.
This does not mean that we should reject ourselves because we have seldom really loved purely. As we are not yet enlightened spiritual beings, how could we? It would be like rejecting ourselves because we do not yet have a university diploma when we are still in the first grade or because we are a flower bud, which has not yet blossomed. It is only natural that we cannot yet love unconditionally. This is our stage of evolution.
The first step towards opening our hearts to real love is to accept and love ourselves exactly as we are with all our weaknesses and faults. Only then can we proceed effectively.
The second step is to begin observing the feelings that are stimulated in our transpersonal. Through objective self-observation, we can determine in which situations we love unconditionally and in which we are feeling "loving" with specific conditions. Following are some examples that will help.
We look to others for security. We might seek security from our parents, spouses, siblings, children, employers, friends, ministers, spiritual teachers or others.
We do feel love toward these beings, but often that love is based on the fact that they offer us a sense of security. If they start behaving in ways that obstruct our feelings of security or if they decide to leave or ignore us, will we still love them?
If our employer fires us, will we still love him or her? If our parents throw us out onto the street, will we still love them? Or is our love tightly woven with the need for security?
If as parents we dream that our children will become economically well off and socially accepted professionals, will we love them the same if they become street artists, beggars or anarchists? Some parents will be able to; others will not.
The basic question is whether or not our feelings of love are steady and consistent regardless of the various changing behaviors of those we "love". In each case where we perceive our heart closing, we need to discover what we fear in that situation. What might we believe is in danger? Most frequently we lose our love when we fear that our security, self-worth, freedom or pleasure are in danger.
Only when we have realized total inner security, perhaps based on an inner spiritual awakening or on our faith in the Divine, will we be able to love without security attachments.
Only when we know that we can live without others can we really love them steadily.
Society has caused us to completely confuse this matter. We believe that if we love others, then we must be totally dependent on them and should fear that our world would fall apart if something happens to them. This is insecurity.
This is a lack of awareness of our inner spiritual nature and our ability to deal with life. It has nothing to do with love.
Perhaps this is why the Apostle John wrote, "Where there is perfect love, there can be no fear".
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp. He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at http://www.amazon.com.
have an article we could publish? We want to hear from you!
The order of Wedding Speeches at the
Why Aren't We Happy In Our Marriage Relationships?
Ten Hot Tips to Light
Your Woman's Fire
Prepared With A Bride's Emergency Kit
Happiness - the Ultimate Egoism?
Comment from the
Find out once and forever what Russian women are really looking for, why they are looking for it and how you can give them exactly what they want!
With "How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me" you'll learn knock-out techniques that will instantly boost your success rate in dating Russian women - online and in real life. You will have more beautiful girls that want to be with you than you can handle!
And not just ordinary girls! They will be beautiful, intelligent, but most of all - honest and sincere! You will be the one to take your pick!
STOP wasting your time and money in search for a Russian wife... Get it done - painlessly, easily, and certainly! Moreover, have lots of fun along the way!
Yes, you too can marry a girl like the one on the picture... Click here!
When it comes to dating, most men make the same silly mistakes with women - over and over, with disastrous results.
Do you want to do BETTER than 99% of other guys? Click here
Russian Brides Cyber Guide's navigation bar:
women secrets: Myths
reality | FAQ | Russian
names | Russian
women glossary | Russian
About Russia: Russia | Russian culture | Visiting Russia | Russian visas | Travel Tips
Black List: Black List Archive | Dating scams | The shocking truth about Russian brides | ANTI-SCAM GUIDE
E-books and articles: Books | Articles | Dating Russian women | Fiancee visas | FREE articles
Russian Brides: Russian models | Russian Brides Advice | Real Russian Brides
Admin: About us | Contact us | Customer support | Affiliate program | Links | Site map
Copyright © Russian
Brides Cyber Guide, 1999-2016.
All rights reserved.
No portion of this site may be reproduced without written permission from the author. Feel free to link to.