Russian Brides Cyber Guide
By Robert Elias Najemy, Copyright 2004
Needing Others for Pleasure
Let us examine how our needs for pleasure and affirmation can limit and distort our experience of love.
We create relationships that give us pleasure and affirmation as well as security. We may be dependent upon the other for money, shelter, sex, travel, clothing, encouragement, compliments, humor, tasty food, a clean house, comforts, or even his or her beauty.
Yet, if he or she stops providing these for us, or decides to provide them for someone else, do we continue loving that person or do we feel hurt, disillusioned, and overcome with feelings of injustice, anger and perhaps revenge?
The condition here is that "I love as long as you provide me pleasure, happiness or excitement. If you stop, my feelings change." It is conditional love.
We may also depend on someone for affirmation. This may take various forms.
Until we are able to love unconditionally, we will be unhappy, insecure and frequently in conflict with those around us. We will be able to do this only when we have matured sufficiently so as to experience inner security, inner satisfaction, inner freedom and a steady feeling of self-worth.
In other words, we can love purely only those who we do not need.
When we need others, we cannot love them unconditionally. This might be difficult to comprehend at first, but deep thought and observation will prove it to be true. Being able to love without conditions is a basic prerequisite for both a happy life and spiritual evolution.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp. He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at http://www.amazon.com.
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