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Inner game, leadership and confidence

By Badboy

We all know how important INNER Game is. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself what this inner game actually is? Is it when I memorized material very well or when I perfected the delivery of my voice?

Inner game is based on confidence, attitude and beliefs in your life in general. Your attitudes toward life are going to be projected to the women you talk to, and they will attract her to you. That is how most naturals get laid. They developed these three aspects of their identity (confidence, attitude and beliefs), they begin to feel more confident, they start to behave like a prize, and that's exactly what attracts women.

I enjoy analysing these ideas, and I recently found something crazy below the surface. People in general love leaders, especially women. We all know why: they live in their own world, they radiate with confidence, they know what they want, etc. Now I am going to teach you how to become a leader, how to make people follow you, love you, respect you... These steps are the some basic ones you need to lead a successful life.

Yes, I am only 25 years old, but what I have lived through, you cannot even imagine. I believe I learned a lot in these 25 years (possibly more wisdom than the average Joe collects in his entire lifetime).

The first observation is that charisma does not exist. 
People do not know how to describe something that no one actually "has," so they call the effect "charisma" or say that they believe this guy is a charismatic person. If you observe charismatic people, you see that they actually have one big quality in common. They have a strong frame where they live, and their frame is so strong that people are sucked into their reality and frame of reference. Everything they do reflects an ultra-strong frame, that operates by his own reality and rules. They also have a lot of rules that you must follow when you are around them. They treat themselves with a lot of respect. They do not tolerate any disrespect; in fact they punish it.

You can apply these characteristics to your own life. They are actually core lessons for living successfully on this planet. Let's take respect, for example: How do you ensure that the people around you show respect for you and your work? First start to respect yourself and your work too. When you start to respect yourself completely, other people will also respect you. If you don't respect yourself, why in the world will anyone else respect you? If you treat yourself like shit, trust me, other people will also because you are sending them a strong signal that that is just what you are.

Next, what you must accomplish is develop a set of rules in your life
What people can and cannot do around you or to you. Punish any negative behaviour you don't like. Tell them, for God's sake, and make it crystal clear, that they cannot behave like that. Kick their asses for it. Make them know they did something that you don't respect. People are like sheep. You must tell them what they can do, and what they can't. If they treat you like shit at the office, at home or on the street and you do nothing, of course they will do it again and again. Other people will treat you like a monkey if you let them. Make personal boundaries for yourself, and make it clear to the people around you that you have them.

When they bring a new elephant to the zoo, of course the animal is going to try to escape, break through the fence or whatever it can do to try to get out. But it is funny to realize that elephants have a really interesting memory. They memorize all the negative experiences that happened during their lifetime and just the negative ones. They don't remember the positive experiences nearly as well as the negative ones. (Some humans are the same.) So there is electricity (low voltage) around the fence, and it is funny how the elephant is going to burn his ass just once in his life and never again because he knows what happened when he tried to escape. He is aware of the consequences. That is exactly what you must do in your life, and especially with women. They must always know how far they can go. For example, if my girlfriend flakes on me, of course I will be pissed off, but I will show her that I am angry , and will calmly state that this time was the last she ever did it. For everything that she does that I do not like, I tell her she can do it only 3 times: the first time, the last time and never again!

My rules are strict. People will enjoy the time they spend with me. I will do everything for their happiness in life. I will teach them and have fun with them, but there are some rules you must follow, otherwise you won't see me ever again.

I have options, I can do all this with somebody else. Even if you don't have other options, let it look like you do. Behave like you do. I am going to do everything for my girls. I love them and will treat them like a queen, but as long as I think they deserve it. It is funny to see how women call me a jerk, when I stick to my rules, and let them live by them. Of course I am going to make them feel it when they try to disrespect my rules. I think that is the only way for a living creature on this planet to understand what it is allowed to do and what is strictly forbidden.

Take a look at the police. They have strict rules. Break them and you get punished. They play with your feelings, and trust me, you won't make the same mistake again in your life if you screw around with the police. I want you to do the same in your own life. Let people around you know what is allowed, and what is not. Otherwise nobody is going to respect you. It is funny, but people will test you from time to time to see if you are still congruent with your frame. That is why I say that "shit tests" do not exist. Those are not tests as long as you are simply congruent with your frame. Women will challenge you all the time when you are seducing them, and then later on in a relationship. That is normal behaviour.

My best friend has this cute little dog. "The pet knows that it is not allowed to sleep on the sofa because he got his ass kicked a few times, and still months later he comes near the sofa with his cute little look. He glances at the sofa, then his owner, the sofa, the owner, just waiting for a reaction. He might even put one leg close to the sofa, the whole time looking at his owner. What the dog is actually doing is testing his owner to see if he is still congruent with his rule about sleeping on the sofa." Is he going to allow him to jump on the sofa or is he going to yell at him? The dog is not shit testing his owner, just making sure he is still congruent. Children will test you in the same way. Every couple of days or even hours, they will challenge you to see if the rules have not weakened or changed. You can see this behaviour everywhere in nature.

Now, let's get back to charismatic people. Funny, but the more rules they used to have, and the more they punished those who broke those rules, the more charismatic you are. Negative examples, like Hitler, and positive examples like Christ, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama and Martin Luther King.

These leaders issue commands and demand unquestioning loyalty. Challenging their ideas is strongly condemned and often leads to some type of emotional or physical punishment. With women, you give them pleasure and show them a really nice time when they are with you, but then punish any negative behaviour or disrespect from her.

The first step toward developing confidence, attitude and beliefs is to start respecting yourself! If you have ever gone out with me in the last few months, you will notice something really unusual: as soon as I go into a set, I am not sucked into their frame. I do not live in their world. You will see that they live in my world. How do you see this? When I approach a set or any group of people, I don't position myself so the whole group can hear me. I don't try to yell so the whole group can hear me. First I position myself in the most comfortable position, where I feel the most relaxed, and then I reorganize the other people around me the way I like. For example, I approach them, have them open up to me, sit down, use the space around me to make myself comfortable, and then I might position three girls to talk to each other, and take the target to talk with me. Probably you can understand that this behaviour is not something I modelled or learned, but it is something that is part of who I am for a long time.

I really can't stand people who have a weak frame. For example, I hate to see guys fall into a situation like this: The guy sits in a chair, maybe one that is totally uncomfortable like the letter S, and he stays there for hours, pretending he is relaxed there without saying a word about it. He would sit there no matter what because the chair is more important than who he is. It is more important than his health or his body... sad. Why should I be in some uncomfortable position when I talk with some average frustrated woman. What is she for me?

You will always see me in the most comfortable position you can imagine while I am in a set or anywhere in life. Why? For a few reasons: You can't be nervous when you are in a relaxed position. You will feel cool. People will see you as a really cool guy, and most important, your voice is going to be deeper, more relaxed, so that people will start to lean in to hear you. If you drop your voice down when they can't hear you, they will start to lean in and pay more attention to your lips in order to understand what you are saying. Looking at someone's lips for ten minutes is really sexual. In the next few days I will post a few exercises for improving your voice on my forum, Playboy Central.



Badboy is the online name of the president of Badboylifestyle a company that teaches men how to be confident and pick up women. His website is

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