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Wow! What a great site. I appreciate the honesty and depth. I live in Connecticut and work with Poles, Ukrainians, and Russians (I'm Irish), and I can't thank you enough for the insight you've given me. I think I'm a reasonably good catch, blond&blue, 5'11/190lbs, engineer/businessman. My hope is to find an intellectual and family oriented lady who will become my best friend and fellow adventurer. I'm a little bothered about my age problem (48) as the best thing that ever happened to me was being a father and I'd like to do it again while I still have time. This would mean a lady 25 to 35 and I'm not certain how well the age difference would fly. Although, my mother just retired last year at 85, and her uncle died recently at 104. Perhaps there's hope. Anyway, your excellent missive hasn't scared me away from the idea, but I intend to reread it several times before I jump in. 

Thanks again,
Ed Foster

 

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Contest: "Personal Experiences"


IN SEARCH OF MY SOULMATE
By Charles Smith


I'm a 45-year-old engineer from Colorado and have been looking for Russian bride for about 6 months and spent $6000 so far. I came upon this idea from a colleague who was engaged to a Ukrainian woman. Since the break-up with my last American girl friend, I have been lonely and willing to try about anything.

I contacted a Russian romantic tour company in the States and started to use their email service to correspond with various women for $6-$8 per email. This method didn't seem to work very well since I was not able to contact anyone by phone and I could never be sure my emails ever arrived. One lady in Odessa said she was not interested, and then a week later I got another letter from her that said the opposite. Also, I always asked for phone number and address, but would almost never get anything in reply. 

Regardless of my email problems, I watched tour videos and testimonials full of beautiful women and satisfied male customers. So I decided to book a 10-day tour of Odessa and Kherson in May 2002. The main part of the trip was 3 socials in Odessa. The company told all men to wear suits for the socials and bring photos showing your house, car, family, and anything else that would convince a women you have a good job and enough money. We were asked to take photos together with each girl in case later we wanted to get a fiancÚ VISA. After the socials, we went together with women to dinner, theater, sightseeing, and other activities.

Well according to the "Russian Brides Cyber Guide" I did just about everything wrong on this tour. I tried to impress the women with how much money I had, and then later went together with another man and 3 girls to the most expensive restaurant in Odessa. The girls loved it and ordered the most expensive food and drinks plus anything else they could get us to pay for. Our behavior was guaranteed to attract the gold diggers and it did! In addition, the tour company told all men to spend about $100/day. In Odessa, there are a lot of women who go to socials just to have a good time and meet men who are willing to be spend big. Later I learned these same women go to all socials. 

I met several women during the socials, but they were not the same women listed on the tour company's web site. Their web site had much more attractive and educated women than attended the socials. I met a medical doctor who was very interested in me, and we had a date where she asked me how much money she would earn in America. I learned to drop a woman immediately when she talks about money. Finally, I met an attractive 35-year-old blond Tanya and we both liked each other a lot. I spend a few days together with Tanya. She would never invite me to her home where she has a 10-year-old boy, and I never met her parents. Tanya did everything to win me over. When I was ready to depart from the Airport, she suggested we could take a vacation together in Turkey. I left Odessa in love with Tanya.
Upon returning home, I kept in touch with her by phone and email. Soon Tanya needed $100 for Internet, and then later needed $100 for a passport, and then money to plan our trip. I decided to stop calling her after one month, and she stopped sending emails. Later I heard from a friend Tanya got engaged to another American in August, but it only lasted two months. I think Tanya's problem is she has no money and must meet men who will support her. But her friends are even more money hungry than she is. 

While in Odessa I met an American man who can speak Russian and has been going on trips to meet Russian women for the last 4 years. His name was Bruce and he was interested in sharing apartments with other men since it's cheaper than staying in the for a long time. Bruce was an expert in picking up women and could do it anywhere including on the street, bar, bus stop, etc. He would never spend money on socials since he was meeting better women on his own. He said most Russian women were interested in meeting Americans, but they cannot speak English. Therefore, he taught himself a little Russian with tapes. He invited me to come along with him on his next trip to the Ukraine and I accepted. 

My second trip to the Ukraine together with Bruce and another man was for 18 days in Sept 2002. We spent about 9 days in Kiev where Bruce worked the streets, and I worked with two marriage agencies to meet women. Again, I tried to use email before arriving in Kiev to contact women without much luck. One of the woman became my interpreter in Kiev and I had to pay her $5/hour, plus I heard she got a commission for finding me an apartment at $50/day. She was only interested in making money from me. 
The first agency I contacted was one recommended by this web site, A Foreign Affair. After spending hours looking though catalogs of women in Kiev, they were able to set-up one meeting the next day and provided phone numbers for $30 each. That woman never came to her appointment, which often happens when women change their mind, but I was able to meet another lady that night. This date was a 30-year-old gold digger looking for a rich man. The next day I was back in AFA's office looking for more dates, but most girls were not available or no longer interested. I finally found a 23-year-old girl who met me in the office the next day. When we met she was obviously too young and we had nothing in common. 

The second agency was a local Ukrainian company that was recommended. I spend $200 for 20 meeting, but only met 3 women on my list. I was told the other women were not available. None of the women that I met were any good and one admitted she was just released from the mental hospital. I never got a refund from this agency by the way. The girl who worked there told me all women in their catalogs had "problems" and no "normal" woman who every go to a marriage agency in Kiev. 

At this point we were ready to leave Kiev and go to a smaller town. Bruce decided Kherson would be the best since the internet sites are full of women from this city. We took the train and arrived in the morning. Kherson is a small place and the Hotels are rather primitive and cheap. I was able to contact a few agencies but found the same problem with corruption as in Kiev. A lot of the women were being sent on buses to Odessa to attend socials for the next 3 days. Therefore, it was suggested I go to Odessa and meet them there for $200/day. I attended one social in Odessa and found about 50% of the women were the same ladies who attended socials in May 2002. Tanya was not there since she was engaged, but I met a lot of her "gold digger" friends looking for that American sucker. I only talked with the new women from Kherson and Nikolaev. I got several phone numbers and picked one girl to spend the evening with. I needed to hire an interpreter since her English was bad. We had dinner together at a cheap place this time since I learned my lesson last time. After dinner I took her to a nightclub show that I had seen before. I found-out she was not that intelligent and decided to let her go home early.

The next day I took a taxi back to Kherson to meet some of the women from the social. The first lady Natalie was an attractive blond who looked and acted much younger than her 36 years. She wanted to party at the disco all night and then come home and sleep with me. Later, I found out she had a 16-year-old girl and was engaged to be married to another American. When I confronted her with these facts, she smiled and said she likes to enjoy life while waiting for her fiancÚ. The other woman I met at the social was a 35-year-old blond who happened to know Natalie. I also found out she owned one of the marriage agencies where all the women talk with each other. She had already dated Bruce's friend, but didn't like him. She would only consider a man with a lot of money in order to finance the education of her children. 

I met another American in Kherson who had the same bad experiences as most men and decided to start his own dating agency called Kherson Girls. He swears all his women are real people, but they are still building up their database. He admitted that most of his women were under 23 years since the 23-28 year olds were already married. Women over 28-30 are usually divorced with children. He also confirmed there were agencies in Kherson who were earning up to $1000/month by answering emails from men for women who are not available. This explained a lot of the form letters that I got as replies from Internet sites that charge $8 per reply.

After two trips to the Ukraine and such bad luck, you would expect me to have given up by now. I agree, but there is something about the honest people that I've met that tells me to try one more time. I met several men who are married with Russian girls and they tell me how much happier they are now than with their former American wives. They also advised me to stay away from the Internet, dating clubs, romantic tours, and learn some Russian, spend more time there, and get to know people better. They never told me it would be easy to find a soul mate, but I will succeed if I don't give up first!


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