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Russian women and sex

Top question - July

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Q: I have read that Russian women are brought up to be ashamed of any sexual pleasure... any truth in this statement? Are sexual matters become a problem in these kind of relationship?

A: There is a bit of truth in this statement: Russian women do not talk a lot about sex.

In Russia sexual matters are not every-day-in-magazines topic. Any sexual related questions are considered to be very personal, and even close friends don't discuss details of their sexual lives with each other.

When I just arrived here I was shocked by the number of articles in women's magazines about sex: how to drive a man crazy in bed, His-5-minutes-sexual secret, sex potions and positions from aaah! to zzzz...., and so on. In Russia such topics are discussed only in special editions, here it's in every issue of any decent women's magazine.

It does not mean that Russians don't enjoy sex, or that they are ashamed of the pleasures it gives. They just do not TALK about it with everybody. They don't consider it appropriate.

Also people in Russia do not show affection on public. Kissing, hugging and touching each other is supposed to happen only behind closed doors.

As a consequence, Russian ladies are surprised when read something like "I like kisses and holding hands" in the first letter from a guy, and can decide he is a sexual maniac. Yes, everybody likes kissing and holding hands with a special person, why talk about it?

In Russia it is absolutely inappropriate to talk about sex with a woman until it's happens in a natural way, and couples usually do not discuss their sexual life or what each partner wants in relationship, or how does s/he wants or prefers the intimate part of the relationship. Everything is supposed to be rather "felt" than discussed.

If you ask a Russian lady even an innocent question like if she thinks sex is important in a marriage, she will feel awkward. If you know each other for a while, she will probably answer, but anyway you can't hope for anything more than simple "Yes".

At the same time a woman will not hesitate to answer any your questions after you become sexual partners. You see, in Russia the term "intimate" still has its initial meaning: it's what discussed only between two who are intimate.

I have never heard about any sex related problems in Russian-Western relationship. All men that I asked about sexual side of their marriages, answered that there is no significant difference between Russian and Western women, just normal personal differences that make each person special.

Last month Top FAQ:

Q: I have been corresponding with a very nice lady. My question is our age difference (almost 20 years), and also I am not rich. I am doing well in my business, and I am good looking, but comparing to her I am very plain. Why such a beautiful intelligent lady would be interested in me? She seems to be a kind person and is right now saying all the right things. She has not asked for money or how much money do I make. Could you please give me some advice as to what to look for now in her letters for any danger signs that she is not really interested in me, but in something else.

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