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Elena: 
I am an attorney in the USA who is quite skeptical and analytical. I read your site information, and I must say you have more honest and "real world" advice than anyone I've ever read on the internet. I've never used a dating service before, but your common sense website made me join your service this morning. That is unlike me. I have lots of friends who are quite disappointed with our American sisters overly ambitious expectations from men. This is sending more and more American men to the internet to look for women who are happy just to be happy with a man. Even though I am frequently held up by my male friends as the "woman's ideal" [attorney, published poet, professional tennis player, former model] I am, frankly, unhappy with American girls.

Jim (USA)



Can a Russian woman find a job abroad?


Top question -  October

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Q: If a man married a Russian woman how likely is that she would be qualified to find a job in US? I make a middle class income, and I don't think I could support a wife and family without my wife working. Do Russian women expect to come to this country and not have to work? Can I find a woman who can contribute financially? 

Most women don't know if they will be able to continue working in USA - first
because their English is poor, second - they don't know if their qualifications will be recognized. I know that a doctor has to confirm her qualifications, and it takes 3 years of work in a hospital as intern and additional studies to get your Russian qualification recognized. Many women are ready to stay at home when they are looking for a foreign husband (though many of them want to start working once they adapt to the life abroad). 

Anyway, during her first months in a foreign country a woman won't be able to work - because of her problems with English. 

Most women having a successful career in Russia will not be able to have the same or even similar job abroad. Women don't mind working, they are just afraid they won't be able to.

This is what women themselves answered on the question if they would prefer to work or stay at home when marry a foreigner:

Julia (22 years, editor of an advertising magazine, never married, no kids): I would like to work, continue my education, continuously grow. First time and after the birth of the baby, certainly, I will have to stay at home and be a typical housewife, but I think I will become uninteresting for my husband if I turn into only "pies-nappies".

Tania (25 years old, engineer, divorced, 2 children - 1 and 4 years old): If I marry a foreigner, I would prefer to work. Because I am an engineer, I think I will be able at least to find some kind of computer work at home. I believe that a woman must do something besides homemaking. It is the only way to stay interesting for her husband and don't get mad of boredom. Also, work gives some communication and independence.

Galsira (37 years, economist, divorced, 1 daughter): I plan to work part time, or a few days a week. I would like to pay more attention to my family instead of running like crazy through shops to buy food after 8-hour working day (sometimes 10-hour), and then driving home exceeding speed limit because there is a child, and I need to:

  • feed him;
  • check on his homework for the school;
  • knit him a cap;
  • talk to him, at last!

Can a family exist in such conditions? Of course, not!

Tanya (age, occupation and marital status unspecified) : I would prefer to work (at least part-time). Because I want to have MY OWN money.

Irina (age, occupation and marital status unspecified) : I want to start my own business but in the same time keep my home warm and cozy...

So, as you can see, women are ready to work though do not put their work in the first place in their lives (and they are rarely intending to build a career but this is partly due to uncertainty if their qualifications and experience are good enough). For them work is the means to keep themselves in a good social and intellectual shape, and do not feel fully dependent on their husbands. 

I know a few women who initially were not intending to work when they got married but after a few months of living abroad realized the family needs their financial contribution, and found jobs. One of my friends, a former university lecturer, works as a teacher of music at school, the other one - an engineer - helps her husband to write software programs (he has his own business). 

Though I also know a woman who says: "I got married in order to not have to work" (she never worked in her life before, anyway).

Should you raise the question of working in your correspondence? If you want your future wife to only stay at home, then of course you should. The same if you want a wife who is career orientated and ambitious.

But in the case if you would like your wife to work but don't want her to concentrate too much on building a career, and she was working in Russia, then I would not advise you to do so. 

If a woman is used to working, she will be ready to work if it is necessary. But saying that you want your wife to work so she can pay her bills will make her feel insecure and uncertain (because she is afraid that she won't be able to find a job). Rather ask her if she would be interested in working after the marriage if the question of her working is vital.


Last month Top FAQ:

Q: What about the men? Are the Russian men all sexist alcoholics? How do they feel about Russian women looking elsewhere for husbands?

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