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Thanks for your help on this site! I had decided early on that I would be happy to correspond with her so long as there were no requests for money. When the last letter finally arrived this morning, I knew something was up. 
Thanks for assuring me that this was a scam after all.

Michael


Scamming may not be a crime, but stealing money is. I am going to nail these guys, if its the last thing I do. Thank you for fighting the good fight. We should all stand together to rid the world of this scum.

Regards
Adriaan (South Africa)


I would like to thank the creators of this site and especially one contributor to the site, namely Shane, who wrote a profile on a Miheeva, Marina aka Margo. You have saved me a lot of money and a lot of grief. The thing to remember about dating site scammers, and this one in particular, is that even though they may correspond with you for weeks - they are essentially lazy. They may respond to the general gist of your e-mails but generally do not respond to specific details, such as questions, comments or photos. They also have a tendency to re-use a lot of the same material that has worked for them in the past.

Terence


I did some more digging and found this website which made my decision a no brainer. I replied back to her with an article that I found about scammers being arrested in Russia. I haven't heard back from her since. She's good...almost got me to go "all in"... Thank you to this website and whoever started it!

Frank


Anjella first contacted me through Match.com. We have been emailing for about 5 weeks now. She made no mention of money until last week. Thanks to you I was wary and di not send any money. She asked for help with tickets after the visa cost her more than expected. I found her IP address and did a google search and found your site with almost identical emails. Copy and paste with some personal questions answered at the top. Thanks for saving me some grief.

Greg


Russian women black list - names and photos of reported scammers, scams from Russia, dating fraud


Black List - page 665: UPDATES
November
23, 2012

DISCLAIMER: This page is compiled from visitors' comments only. All messages posted tell about personal experiences of their authors, and not necessarily reflect the position of Russian Brides Cyber Guide

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Nadezhda

I am a 57 year old, retired man from the United States. I was not scammed as I read the info on another site before she solicited and I did not fall for her trap (thank goodness!).

She actually contacted me from a site that I do not recall the name of but she claimed to be a dentist from Davydovka, Russia. She claimed that internet access was only available in the clinic which she worked and that I would not have contact with her on the weekends, which was correct. We passed notes back and forth for a little over a month until she had decided to come for a visit (vacation) but could not come up with the airfare at the last minute. She only asked for $384 to complete payment for her ticket and I declined after she sent a scan of a false US visa (had no visa number affixed).

Letters:

October 1, 2012

Hello! I am Nadezhda.
I have pics and I will send if you want, but I don't want to expose on a general review.
I will show them if I pique ur interest. In a man I'm looking for someone or other who loves the simple things in life like, walks in the park holding hands, anybody I can cook a meal for who will genuinely loves it, even if it is something just thrown together. Someone who be pleasant watching the sunset, and anybody who don't think it is fool to just sit around and talk about our lives, hopes, dreams and ambitions. Anybody who knows a night snuggling on the couch watching a movie together is a excellent pastime. I feel that the simple things in life are truly priceless. i am a very the simple woman to please with a very big heart, honest, intelligent and polite, have a good sense of humor, open minded, and compassionate. I am able honestly say that I am each time striving to improve on myself. I'm looking for the right partner for me. Friendship striving to Long term relationship. I am of 32 year. I'm waiting for your answer. Please take good care of yourself.
Bye Nadezhda.


October 3, 2012

At the beginning of the letter I want to apologize for the delay with my answer. I hope you are not angry with me. Unfortunately I didn't have an opportunity to answer earlier. I think you haven't forgotten me and my latest letter. You know when I got your email I wanted to answer at once but I couldn't. I get the access to the computer now. Something had gone wrong with my email that's why I have to write from this address. Now please write me to this address. I'm absolutely happy that you've found time to answer me! I'm very glad that you've sent me the email.
Before I start telling you my story let me inform you about a very important fact. I hope you're not disappointed that I don't live in your country (I think you've already guessed). I sincerely hope it doesn't frighten you. I'm the same as ladies living in different countries. I'm just a human being with a heart and soul. I suppose my nationality and location don't disappoint you and you will answer my letter. I think the nationality and cultural difference are not the most important things in a lady for you. By the way in the nearest future I'm going to travel. Maybe I visit your country and who knows we are possibly become friends or maybe even more… and if your interest isn't limited only by distance and boundaries I'll be really happy. Now let me tell you a few words about myself. I live in Russia. The village I live in is called Davydovka. It's a small village where just 5500 people live. Maybe you'll try to find my place on the map. It's not far from Voronezh (a large city in the south of my country). In my childhood I dreamed of becoming an interpreter of the English language and I wanted to work with our President to know state and international secrets.(smile). But the fortune disposed in a different way. I started my education in a medical school. After finishing school I entered Medical University. Now I work at hospital. I'm a dentist. Mark I promised to send you my photo and now I keep my promise.
I hope you like them. In addition I want to say that my hair is black though I change it sometimes. I hope you are not disappointed because many men like blonde ladies (smile). My height is 5 feet 4 inches. My weight is 120 pounds. As you know I'm 32 years old. I was born on May 29 in 1980. Of course tastes differ but maybe you'll like my photo and my appearance. In other case if you don't like my appearance please let me know, I won't disturb you any longer. I should say I'm an optimist in the depth of my heart and it helps me in my life. I'm not a little girl and I see my life from a philosophical point of view. I can't make myself an absolutely happy lady. I've got a wonderful job and good house. But there are things that make people happy. They are not material things, they are more than that. I was the first who wrote that. It means I'm ready to share my thoughts with you. I'm very glad and grateful you've written me. In any case I hope you are interested in our dialog and I'll be looking forward to getting an email from you. At the end of the letter I want to ask you simple questions. What is your profession? Do you like your job? Have you got an experience in communicating with people from other countries? Maybe you're more qualified in it than me. If you don't want to answer the questions please don't do it. It's just my woman's curiosity. I'll be extremely grateful if send me your photos. I'm sure to save them in my computer.
Best wishes.
Nadezhda.


October 4, 2012

Hi Mark!!! How are you doing? How did you spend your day? I hope you are glad to get my email? When I got yours I was in the seventh heaven, I was the happiest lady in the world!!!!!!!! Thanks a lot. Now I want to explain the fact about my opportunity to write you letters. I send my emails to you from my job because I haven't got a computer at home. The computer I use is in the Accountant Department. The lady who works with the computer lets me use it for my personal purposes sometimes. It depends not only from me and my desires, unfortunately. I work from Monday till Friday. It's Russian standard. That's why I won't be able to send and get emails on Saturday and Sunday. But sometimes I have to work at weekends because any pain even toothache hasn't got a schedule. (smile) I suppose you remember I'm a dentist. That's why I will have an opportunity to write you on Saturday and Sunday. You asked me about age? The age is not main thing. The age of the person is defined by his appearance and a condition of his soul. The main thing in the person is the soul. The person with age becomes wiser. Your age is the most remarkable age. I have decided to write to you because I think this age is best for a man. I do not know why, but for me is more interesting being in a society of mature men. I like wise and skilled men. I think we have the ideal age difference. An adult man feels the responsibility better, than young. The age difference relieves of set of problems that people of identical age can have. Now I'm going to tell you about my interests. My hobby let me say so is the English language. I have been interested in it for so long since my school years. The educational program in Russia includes learning foreign languages. As a rule they are English, German and French. I started learning English and now I'm extremely happy that I made the right choice. I absolutely love the English language. After finishing school I continued learning the language at the University. I had been learning English for 18 years. I want to know it perfectly. I speak English. Maybe you'll like my accent (Russian I mean) I have. It's possible there are some mistakes in the text but I'm sure you won't offend.
Another hobby I have is knitting. It's the deal of my life. My mum taught me how to knit in my childhood and now I knit clothes (sweaters, jackets and waistcoats) for my friends and myself. I adore knitting and I like wearing woolen clothes. Almost all warm clothes I have got I've knitted myself. I don't know if knitting is popular in your country as for Russia it's really fashionable and up to date. What else can I tell you about my life? I haven't got children, I've never been married. Of course I had relations with men I even thought that they were serious and would last long and come to marriage but I was mistaken. Now I have got nothing but bad and painful memories. Mark, how can you describe your character? As for me I've never tried to describe the traits of my character but nevertheless I'll try. I live with a smile on my face and a hope in my heart. I consider myself an optimist. And maybe it helped me be the first to write. I've seen and experienced a lot in my life. During 32 years I'd been overcome a lot of difficulties. You know I don't need much in my life to be happy. All I need is a real man who will be my friend, my love and support forever. And it happened so that now I'm looking for him in such a way. I don't think it's wrong. And what do you think of it? I live honestly and it brings me satisfaction and pleasure. I know happiness doesn't need a lot. Maybe the most essential thing I lack now is love. A human being can't be happy without love. I mean not only love between a man and woman but also love to the family. For instance, I haven't got a family and it really oppresses and depresses me. Mark, do you often meet your relatives? I really miss the time when I had a lot of relatives. I want to return it. Are you looking for a soul mate or just a friend? What are you looking for in the soul mate, Mark, if it is so? I hope to hear from you very soon.
Best regards.
Nadezhda.

P.S. Your letter went to my spam folder so I did not see it immediately.
    I was interested why. To me have recommended to place you in a "favorite list".
    Maybe my letters to you too get in spam? Place me in a "favorite list".


October 8, 2012

Hi Mark! Today definitely good day - day of dialogue with my friend Mark! (Smile). How it is wonderful to receive something that you really wait. And in a case with me it of course your letter! Thank you! Today was a difficult day, and dialogue with you removes my physical weariness. The quantity of patients has considerably increased for some last years. Here many people lives in the remote areas, impassable districts. They lives even without an electricity in absolutely unsuitable conditions for a life. And it certainly becomes the reason of a plenty of diseases. The sad fact. Sometimes I want our president to live here instead of the Kremlin, simply to understand what life is. Maybe in this case all wars would end much faster? Forgive me that I tell you about our problems, simply I write all what in my head. If you do not like to read about it - simply tell me.
I have written you in my first letter when my birthday. But if you do not remember let me remind you. I was born on May 29 in 1980. Thank you for your picture. It is a fine picture. You are a strong and handsome man. I very much like this picture. It is wonderful, when a man combines force and charm. It happens so seldom. Forgive me for my frank words. But I always speak what I think. I think there is nothing bad in it. You have pleasant appearance and it is wonderful. By the way Mark I have asked you about your family in my last letter because it really interestingly for me, as all my family has passed away. My parents were military, mom was the military doctor, father was the military officer and we hadn't constant house because they very often got the notice about new place of service, in places with the military conflict. Therefore my childhood was not very cheerful. We lived in temporary habitation outside of zone of conflict, therefore sometimes I did not see my parents some weeks, and I was at home absolutely alone, being an eight-year girl. Therefore since the early childhood I am able to cook, sew, knit and do any heavy physical work. Now I absolutely agree that it's correctly said that:"Thing that does not kill us makes us stronger". Don't you agree Mark? When father got new place of service near to Kazakhstan, I have gone to study in the good medical university in Tomsk. I lived in student's hotel on distance of 600 kilometers from my parents. But we had meeting some times in the year. Later my parents got new place of service and have left to live in the Davydovka. And I saw my parents only once in one year. At university for the first time in my life I have found a true friend (it is Nailya) who is my best and reliable friend till now. We have together passed through a hard time when have been compelled to study and work in the evening and at night,- just to support itself. After ending of university I was to get direction for intern in Tomsk area, but I have received the letter from mom where she informed that daddy has been killed in military collision. There is nothing worse than to find out about death of the parent from the letter. After that I began to live with mom because I was afraid to leave her lone at such difficult period. One and a half year ago my mom has passed away. I will not describe all pain and suffering which I had at that time. Simply I want to tell that all ups and downs, all pleasures and misfortunes that were in my life have led me to who I am now. The destiny was not tender with me, but I am grateful to my destiny for my parents, I am grateful to my destiny for my friend Nailya, because it really a gift of destiny. And I hope Mark you are not angry with me that I talk to you about it? It is my life and it is a part of me. And how you would learn me more if I would not tell you it, really? And I as well would be glad to learn more about you. Your life is very interesting to me. Are you grateful to destiny for anything in your life Mark? How often you become tired? Do you like the nature, rivers and lakes, woods and mountains? Are you religious person Mark? I will wait for your letter so please write me soon! Sincerely and with the best regards.
Your friend (I hope) Nadezhda.


October 10, 2012

Hi, Mark! Today I had so much work that I was afraid that I wouldn't have time to get your letter. And I have to say that it is distressed me. But now I have found free time and very glad. Thank you for your kind letter. My last letter was sad. That's why today I will try not to write about sad things. How there were your day? Now I am smiling and have a good mood, because today we found out that in two days into Voronezh will be coming big exhibition of rare breeds of cats and dogs. It is great news because at this exhibition there will be the best representatives of rare breeds, collected from all of Russia. Everybody wants to visit this exhibition because it will last only for several days. I like animals very much. Can you imagine that I never was in a zoo? It is my dream. Have you ever been in zoo? We have here several small menageries, but I dream to see giraffes and rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses and bears. I never saw tigers and elephants in real life. Have you ever seen a tiger or a bear? The biggest animal I saw in my life is a horse. I like horses very much and think that these are the most beautiful animals in the planet. As matter of fact I have always dreamt to have some pets. Unfortunately a horse hardly would be placed in my home (smile). I dreamt to have cat or dog. But when I think that a little puppy will wait for me home, alone, I feel pity. That's why I don't have pets.
What else to tell about myself? I always very much get tired on work. And though my work is not heavy physical work but like any doctor, I am in constant concentration and an internal moral strenuousness, because the health of people depends on my attention. I am always waiting weekends with impatience. Weekends are the only one possibility for me to get a rest and to get new forces. Weekends I spend variously. Sometimes I want simply to rest in my home. I live alone in my home. I like my home - small and cozy. On weekends I always clean home properly. I like purity. And though I always try to keep clean my home, all the same, always in the weekends I find what work to make in an home. But when I want really to relax I listen to music or read books. I like to read books especially historical novels about ancient Russia or other countries. I like to spend time with my female friends. I have two best lady friends. When we meet, the air is filling with laughter. We like to walk and to talk; we go to cinema and walk in the park. If you want I can tell you about my friends. I like very much to spend time in nature in the open air. I like the sea, but should tell that I have been there very seldom. I like woods, mountains, lakes and the rivers more. Camping in Russia is very popular. I adore to go to the forest and to live in a tent though now I have such opportunity seldom. I like to look at night illumination and cars headlights. I like very much to look at the stars. In August our sky abound with stars. It is incredible beautifully. I like to cook on the fire. There is nothing more wonderful than when the fragrances of forest, rivers and smoke mix together in the air. I am romantic undoubtedly. I really like to cook. I know that I do it well, because I started cooking from childhood. My mother taught me many things including cooking. She said: "Lady who can cook well doesn't have disadvantages and demerits, because tasty food is a way to the man's heart (smile). May be she was right. We have In Russia many national dishes, such as an okroshka, uha, borsch, golubtsy, pelmeni. I am not sure if you know such dishes. These are Russian national dishes. Also I like Italian food (pizza, spaghetti), I like sea foods. Once I even tried sushi. What dishes do you prefer Mark? Looking back at your life would you like to change something? I have to finish. I hope my letter was not stodgy and uninteresting. I will wait for your letter with impatience.
I wish you peace and kindness. Nadezhda.


October 11, 2012

Hi, my dear friend Mark! Day by day I feel more need in getting your letter. My mood has become better again when I have got your letter. I should say that when I have good mood I hear gratitude from my patients much more often (smile). Therefore, now the health of a Russian people depend on your letters (smile again). Thank you for new picture. I already spoke, that you are a handsome man. Your new picture confirms my words. You really very charming and attractive a man and to look at you is very pleasantly.
In Russian medicine is social, but there are private clinics. I work in a public hospital. You asked what is my taste in music. I like various types of music. I like to listen to classical music. I like Dire Straits. I like very much Sting. But my favorite is Pink Floyd. They are not similar to anybody. It is a great band. I like Queen, Madonna and many others. In your country there are a lot of great musicians. I like Russian musicians but likely you do not know them. Have you ever heard of Gorky Park? They are Russians who sang in America. I would like to find a true soul mate. A person that can be trusted. A person that laughs at your jokes. A person who loves you unconditionally no matter what. A person that talks to you  about not only good things but anything that maybe troubling you. A person that wants to see you everyday. A person that will kiss or hold you for no particular reason but just because you are you. A person that enjoys your company. A person that you can tell your secrets to and you know they will be safe with that person. A person that that doesn't criticize but encourages. Mark, to me that is what a soul mate is. You asked me about a possible coming to your country. I with pleasure will answer  - Of Course! I would not start such a relations if I were not sure in it. If my heart will prompt me that I should go to your country, I will necessarily go. Of course all is possible. And if I will feel that time for meeting have come, I will do everything to organize this meeting.
To my regret I could not visit an exhibition. Last days was a lot of work and I could not go to Voronezh. But it not death (smile). By the way, when I came to work today, my mood was bad, because my friend Nailya fell ill and now she is in the hospital. The saddest thing is that she has birthday today. She is 30 years old today. Unfortunately she will spend her birthday in the hospital. But I have already talked with a doctor and I will be allowed to spend evening in her chamber. In the evening I will bake a cake, I will buy balloons and go to the hospital. I hope very much that she will have good mood on her birthday. She is my best friend. By the way, she works with me in the clinic. Nailya the doctor the otolaryngologist in our clinic. As a matter of fact I have only two real friends - Nailya and Natalya. Nailya is a lady who is in the hospital. Natalya is our friend already for several years. Nailya and I are like sisters. We like to take a walk. Usually we walk in the park. But also we like to spend time in Nailya vegetable garden. She lives in an old wooden house. I don't know if you have seen such houses. It is the houses which were built before the Second World War, in the fortieth years. These are very old houses which don't have bath and running water. So people have to take water outside in the well. In modern world such conditions seem very terrible, but this is really so. We like to spend time in Nailya vegetable garden. There she grows the potato, tomatoes and cucumbers not to buy them in the market. Every winter Nailya, Natalya and I together build a big Snowman in her vegetable garden, using a big snow spheres. We put carrot instead of nose, and potatoes instead of eyes. It is very funny. All neighbor's children came to see it. By the way, if we want to fool about, we put carrots not only instead of a nose but also below..... (hint and smile) First time we made such Snowman 10 years ago. Since that time we do it every year. It is a tradition for us. We poured it with water to cover with ice. So it could stand for the whole winter. I like Davydovka. Almost all people in our village know each other. Nailya says that she wants to live in a big city. I don't know where is better. Big city is a big traffic, fast rhythm of life, garlands of fires, lightning's of shop windows, high buildings, fountains, cinemas, parks, attractions, theatres. It is wonderful, of course I like it. But our village is a fresh air, a lot of trees and birds, silent and comfortable, cozy, quiet place, no hubris and vanity inherent for big cities. We have a lot of small and large lakes and rivers. The places are very beautiful. If there was no criminality, it would be paradise. But alas, the criminal in small cities, as well as in the big cities is an integral part our life. Unfortunately the crime in Russia is on a very high level. But I don't want to tell about sad things. Several times, Nailya, Natalya and I went to the festival of bard song. This is a place on the coast of the river where a lot of people come from all country. At night the coast is covered with thousand fires lights. The scene is a huge raft having the form of a guitar and established right on water and everybody who wants to sing together with famous bard singers, goes on this raft and starts to sing. And all thousands people become silent and listen to this singer even if he is absolutely unknown. It is the unique festival. I have to finish my letter. I don't want but I have to do it. Today when I will come to Nailya we will talk about you. She likes to ask about you and I like to tell her. I wanted to ask you what makes you happy Mark? What was the best gift from a woman you got? Sincerely your, and with best wishes.
Nadezhda.

P.S. I hope you can play the enclosed file. In the next letter inform me.


October 16, 2012

Hi Mark! At once I want to tell that Nailya sends you her greetings. I was in hospital and we have spent her birthday very well. I wanted to bake a small cake, but it has turned out on the contrary. The cake was huge. It weighed two kg. When I have brought it to hospital, we have divided this into set of pieces; and all doctors and some patients that were in this small branch are drank tea and ate a pie together with us and everyone was glad and happy. I have brought a lot of balloons. She was very glad and grateful to me. The day is wonderful today and the weather is good. The sun is shining all the day. To add to all this I have got your letter and my happiness doesn't have limits. So what about your weather? May be today after work I will take a walk. I like to walk along the street and to breathe the fresh air, especially when the weather is warm. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. At home is very boringly and lonesomely. Sometimes I don't notice it, but sometimes when I come home with good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with anybody, to have fun. But my home is empty and I have to be in full loneliness. And my good mood disappears. I simply sit down into the armchair and look at the window. And when the silence deafens me, when I hear movement of my eyelashes, at that moment the hoop of loneliness compresses my heart. I can listen to music or read a book. I can go to my friends. But in some moment I understand that I just deceive myself. In fact I want a beloved person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, to meet morning, to talk about yesterday and to dream about tomorrow day. I want to walk and to feel a strong man arm holds me. I don't want to cook meals only for myself. I want somebody to appreciate it. But I think enough about it.
You have such a nice soothing quality to your voice, that I could listen to it many times over. When I listen to your recording and gaze at your photos, I can almost feel like we are in the same room, sitting in armchairs or at the table or on the couch talking of the day ahead, or that has passed and we are catching up with each others' day.
Hi Mark, again. I began writing the letter in the morning. Now already 5.00. Can you imagine? Today was heavy working day. My working day comes to an end soon. But, one employee has brought here her small son, and she has asked me to look after him because she should leave urgently for some hours. The boy knows me very well. He already some times remained with me and spent time. As our clinic works till 22.00, we can be here up to the end of work day. His mom works in our clinic only a few months and she has no friends or relatives here. That's why I already some times helped her. Her son is amusing boy. I asked him: What do you dream about? He answered that he dreams to become a grownup because grownups don't have problems with teeth. It was so funny. I often recollect childhood. I always dreamed to become a grown up as soon as possible. As every child I completely believed that grownups don't have problems at all. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world. We live in a real life, so we should not sink into the world of dreams and phantasies for a long time. When a dream becomes obsession, it can bring only pain and disappointment. Our dreams come true not always. It happens that you use all energy, all aspiration to make dream come true. But irrespective of how strenuously you try, not everything in this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true, dream ceases to be the star, that was for you a lighthouse in the ocean of the life. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreams and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. Our dreams force us to think, analyze, choose and come to a conclusion. The Faith and Hope are eternal satellites of our lifes. And regardless of what waits you at the end, we remember joy of the victories better, than disappointment and pain of the defeats. Don't you agree? I'm surprised that I write all this to you. I have never had a man, with whom I felt conveniently in sharing my thoughts. But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness. If I said something superfluous forgive me please. Can I ask some small questions? Do you like to sleep, or get up early in the morning? Do you like to kiss? (smile) Are you a good kisser? (smile) Do you like when your friends come to your home or you prefer to go to friends. I adore when Nailya or Natalya come to my home. What clothes do you like to see in a lady? I will wait for your letter with impatience.
Nadezhda.


October 17, 2012

Hi, Mark. I am very glad that you have written me. Thank you very much. You cannot imagine how much I wait for messages from you! Your letters became a part of my days! Now in my thoughts always only one question - "When I will get an opportunity to read your letter and to write my?"... And when I hear a favorite phrase: "Nadezhda, you can jump, you has received the letter!" (A lady who works with a computer says exactly this phrase) I really become joyful very much and start to smile involuntarily. Therefore thank you!!! Today is a good day and to clinic I have come already with good mood. Today at night there was a little snowfall. In the morning I have come out to the street to jog and I have seen that all footpaths and roads completely are filled with snow. But I like such a weather. I like any weather. Many people do not notice beauty that surrounded them. In my soul such a weather wakens the big energy and fine mood. I like all seasons. I like autumn. Yellow leaves, gold trees. It is so wonderful to walk in the park and to listen to how leaves rustle under feet; to see the clouds that float in the sky, to see birds departing to the warm lands. And at night the sky begins to cry. The rain knocks on windows and roofs. A lightning illuminates for shares of second the empty streets. It is wonderful. How it would be wonderful in such a weather to appear with beloved in a small room with a warm fireplace; weak light and singing of a cricket. How you think Mark? What can be finer than romantic evening in rainy day? I at all do not know what season I like more. Russian winter is delightful. The all world around is white. And falls of snow bewitches, especially in the evening. When you see flows of light from a window, and on a background of black sky small snowflakes are similar to stars. And if for a long time you look at the sky, then it seems that you are flying through these wonderful snowflakes towards something unknown. I like spring. The world as though is born again. Air is filled with freshness. All troubles and failures thaws together with snow. The sounds of the baby birds chirping for the first time. Summer is a fine mood, the desire to learn the world, to have a rest and enjoy life. I feel that I rambling on.
By the way, I jog for many years. I really have good health because I always try to support my figure and I jog every morning. I try to spend time in the air as much as possible. I have no car and I use transport extremely seldom. I get contrast shower - alternation of a stream of cold and hot water. I since the childhood lived in conditions of cold winter and damp autumn. Such climate is toughening health very well. I do not smoke. I really love a healthy way of life. And I am proud of it. I love sports very much. Though should admit that I never played golf, football and basketball, never boxed. But I could surprise you, if I had opportunity to compete with you in beach volleyball. By the way, when I studied at university, I visited section of swimming and have reached good results. Some times I participated in swim competitions. Swimming - till now my favorite kind of sports. Mark, I send my pictures. I hope you will like it. I for a long time thought and have decided to send a picture - only for you... So, this picture really only for you! I hope you understand... I have to finish.With the best regards and with thoughts of you.
Nadezhda.


October 19, 2012

Hi my dear friend, Mark!!!! I am very glad that you have written. Many thanks. You have again raised my mood and have placed a happy smile into my face. By the way Mark, today I went to job being absolutely confident that your letter waits for me. Earlier I always went with thought that you probably yet have not written, but today for the first time I went with thought that your letter already waits for me. I went along the street with the smile on my face. I could not hide my smile. People that went past of me looked back and looked at me. Here already many employees know that I have found such a wonderful friend, and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in other country. Everybody only are glad. Nobody here is surprised if the woman searches for not Russian man. I think the cultural distinction is a wonderful thing. I don't understand Russian men and their culture of dialogue with woman. They are not able to appreciate woman's feelings, her fidelity, love. They do not appreciate sincerity and aspiration of woman to do for a man absolutely everything. The only thing she need - the warmth and caress, which she wants to get from a man. It is the problem of Russian men. Russian lady does everything for a man but doesn't get anything from him. All what she needs is at least a couple of tender words and gentle touching of his arms. Really it is so difficult? Really it is difficult to present for your lady a romantic evening and a supper with candles? In Russia as a rule such gift give lady to man, but not man to lady. You say that I am beautiful. In Russia I am not considered like a beautiful lady. I am usual and simple woman with usual appearance. Russian men, practically all of them, usually show disrespect to ladies. They consider that woman only have to work, to cook, to wash cloths and entertain a man when he wants. For Russian man to offend a woman is a usual thing. I like to cook and to wash cloths but sometimes I would like to receive simple caress, love and attention. I don't want to offend all men. Of course there are good men in Russia, but there are few of them. Men very often say dirty words (not normative lexicon) when they talk with lady and consider that there is nothing bad in it. I want to tell you about my ex-boyfriend. I feel that you will understand me. I had boyfriend. We had good time together. He was kind. But he liked to drink. When he got drunk he became an absolutely other person. He talked with me by bad and dirty words. The time passed and his love to alcohol became a habit. He became another person - rude and evil, even when did not drink. He has found the big interest in beating of me. He began to beat me very often and cruelly. He often knocked me in my face by fist and even kicked me by foot when I already was on a floor. And every time when I being on a floor looked in to his eyes, and with tears in my eyes asked him - WHY? - he just responded that any man is a King and a place of any woman - under foot of a true man. But the next day he smiled and talked with me as if nothing had happened. In public he was very delicate, polite. All people considered that he is a true gentleman. But when he found oneself at home, everything was on the contrary. I very much was afraid of him and I have left him. My soul was wounded very much. After this I couldn't make myself get acquainted with another man. I don't trust Russian men. I am afraid to give my love, but back to get roughness instead of love. I have told to you about it because I want you to know that I open to you my soul. And I want you to know about my ex-relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I feel that I can tell to you about this because I feel that you have very kind heart. By the way, today Nailya leaves hospital! And though she will spend some more days at home, all the same it is much better than in hospital. If you have disagreements with lady, can you apply roughness? Are you able to transform quarrel into the peace, pleasure and a smile? I hope my letter have not offended you in any way. I have to finish. With all my kindness and tenderness.
Nadezhda.


October 22, 2012

Hi, Mark! How is your mood? I hope that up to my letter your mood was fine, but after my letter your mood became superfine (smile) Likely I am too self-confident. But I am happy if I receive your letter. I so waited for this minute,- when I can write to you. Our friendship became the important part of my life, and I hope that in your life as well. Sometimes I understand that the thread that connects me with you now is not most strong. But I do not want this thread to be torn. Right now I sit and I smile simply because I am glad that again I can to share with you my thoughts. Sometimes I so want you to see my smile during the similar moment because I think it is the most sincere smile! But sometimes my smile leaves me because I know that now the only thing that connects us is our thoughts, that we send to each other,- thoughts, transformed into a letters that are not able to show all depth of thoughts. But at the same time I understand that nobody knows what waits for us in  the  future.  I hope my words do not offend you and maybe you even think just  as I... Tomorrow difficult day waits for me. Probably tomorrow I will work outside of clinic. We call it - "the ride working day". Nailya also goes with us. She already is completely healthy and begins work. It is difficult day. At this day several doctors and specialists of our clinic are going on the special medical bus to various remote small settlements, small villages in a thicket of the forest. These are poor villages which are located far away from the big cities and settlements. In these villages there are no doctors and clinics and people cannot visit clinic at any moment. In such villages there is always a lot of people who need the doctor but cannot reach clinic by self. Often it is a people who are not able to live without help of other people, - basically are small children or old and weak feeble people. We go in these villages on the bus with all necessary equipment. People in these villages love us and wait more than anything. But it is really the hard work if to take into account that we are going there at 6 am, and we come back sometimes even after 10 pm! But I will wait your letter because our friendship gives force to me, and our dialogue is a rest for my soul! My dear friend Mark! I have to go! Sincerely and with thoughts about you.
Nadezhda.


October 25, 2012


Hi my dear Mark! Today is a fine day. Already in the morning I knew that I today I will get an opportunity to write to you. And all the rest become unimportant for me. Today I really haven't opportunity to write much. Please forgive me. But I have enough time to tell to you that I thought of you and waited when I will get opportunity to write you. Of course I have a television at home. You asked me about my favorite shows. I have some favorite shows. For example - ''Wildlife'' from BBC. They show extremely beautiful views of the nature and animals. I very much like to look programs about nature and animals. I like to watch games of NBA very much. It's a fantastic show. But unfortunately NBA games practically do not show. I like to watch games NHL. Especially when they show the best pucks. Likely to watch that in real life is much more interesting than on the TV. I have no phone at home and at work. Phone on work has only internal connection. The line with the Internet has only an exit in the Internet, but has no phone for conversations. This telephone line is connected to the Davydovka center of telecommunication, but we have no telephone lines for the international connection. To find a way to call difficultly for me. If I would live in Moscow or Saint Petersburg, I could find phone, but here a telephone system is undeveloped. Here people cannot even call militia or ambulance if they need it. If you would see how we live here, you would understand. And I have time to tell the main thing. I do not know why, but today I have woken up earlier than usually. I could not fall asleep again. I simply sat near window and looked at the sky. Suddenly, a small birdie appeared on my window. It was very beautiful birdie. This birdie looked at me, and started to twitter. It was so unusually and beautifully. It was a beautiful song. I looked at this small birdie and thought, that you Mark now somewhere far away; maybe you sleep and see me in your sleep-dream. And I so wanted you to see this small birdie and to hear her delightful song. And I have whispered: "Fly off, my little birdie, fly to my friend Mark, and tell to him that one girl, that is so far away, thinks of him and sends to him this song. And at this moment the birdie has flinched and flew away as if this birdie has heard my words! And I have thought, if today you Mark will see a small birdie singing beautiful song, - be sure that it is my birdie I sent to you! Forgive me, but I have to go. I want to send you my kiss if you do not mind.
Your Nadezhda.


October 29, 2012

Hi, my far, but dear friend Mark. Thank you so much that you write to me. I am really glad that I have found you. I want to tell you today so much. Today I wanted to say just the right things to you. I didn't want to offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something wrong may do that. I always speak directly from my heart but sometimes, words must be chosen carefully. I feel somewhat lost when I have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel contentment and joy when I think of you. I have never done this in my life, (tried to initiate a relationship halfway across the world), but I am more than willing to learn whatever is need to succeed, if it is your desire as well. I also believe that couples should be the best friends, which trust and share with each other everything that they feel. I don't know if my word and thoughts make sense to you; and for me so hard to put them in typed words that you will feel and understand. I believe in God, and I believe that I have been put through trials to be ready for meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life in loving, to better value him, respect him and cherish the love that he would give me; only asking that I return the same. I hope that my words and letters are not boring to you, but they are much more than mere words, they are my thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to you. I wish to know you on the more intimate level, I would like you to share your true dreams, your hopes, your feelings of the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a level that goes way beyond simply friendship. Please don't think that I am fool for thinking these things, I believe that to succeed in anything, you have to be honest, and that is what I am doing with you. Could you seriously close your eyes for just a minute, and think and dream of what a life we could share, what it would be like,- the fun of learning each other. I really believe that dreams really come true for the people that dare to believe in dreams, because if they believe in them enough hard, dreams could become in reality. Here, where I was raised, the gift of true love from a man is something that is more similar to a Mirage or self-deception, rather than mutual feeling which two enamored people can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words. I have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that I want to say, and I always feel that I have forgotten something important that I wanted to share with you. Mark, I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean the beauty that is within you, beauty of your internal world. It is a type of beauty that is very special and rare. Most men have only appearances, but not have beauty inside, and this is where true beauty is. This is what for me is the most important and significant in all limits of my character, my soul and my consciousness. I think that you are truly handsome, in the sence of what beauty should be. I want to reduce essence of my entire letter only to one thought. I don't know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now, or not. I want to tell that I feel, we become very good friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I aspire to learn you more and I dare to hope that you suppose a thought that our relations can develop more than it enough for simple friendship. It's the way I feel. I'll look forward to your reply as always with anticipation and impatience.... I hope that your reply will not have of a harsh nature, and I look forward of its arrival. With tenderness, Your Nadezhda.


October 30, 2012

Hi Mark! Your letter means so much for me. Thank you. I so wait for your letters and so demanded to learn that you will tell to me. Mark, today I write to you with special worry but as well with pleasure and hope. I really hope that everything that I will tell you today will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big sadness in my heart, and even though I tried to not show it, I think you have noticed it. Mark, I was sad because the boss informed me that approximately in three weeks the accounting department will be closed for full re-equipment and repair. And when he have told me it, I thought my heart will stop, because when it will take place, I will not be able to communicate with you during several months! And it has brought infinite sadness into my heart. But after my boss informed me about close of accounting department, the accounting department informed me that approximately in three weeks I will get my vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months, inside my soul I at once have felt that I can't simply accept it. And I have felt that together with sadness in my heart has appeared an other feeling - feeling of confidence, desire to make new steps instead of simply waiting for something. I have understood that our relations are important for me much more than I thought. And it so wonderfully. I had no vacation for two years. And now I will have vacation. But a thoughts that I will not be able to communicate with you, to receive your letters and to write mine,- all these thoughts has brought a pain to me, pain that I can't endure. I talked with Nailya and she has asked me what I think to do. And when she has asked me it, I have understood that inside my soul I already know the answer to this question. And I have told that I do not want to spend such a long-awaited vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a thought that I will not talk to you Mark during of month or two. And I have told that I want to meet you Mark! I have told her that I want to spend my vacation with you Mark! I can come to you, and we can spend time together if you want. And first I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the letter, you will write me that you do not want to see me or can not meet me. And it would hurt my heart. But Nailya have told, that you Mark and I are such a good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore Mark will be happy to spend time with me. And I really think that it would be delightfully. So, what you will say, Mark, if I will offer you a meeting? Would you be happy to see me and to spend with me several days? I cannot imagine at all how it would be wonderful. You would show me your life, we would learn each other in a real life. We would look into the eyes of each other, we could hold our hands, tell each other silly stories, laugh and tease each other, watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening, go to the movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park, and who knows what else we could do together... I would be happy to do all this together with you, instead of again be lonely without you and our friendship. I simply want to meet you. I already knew and I have been told earlier, but I have found out again all I need to do to come to your country. I already have the passport. And I will avoid usual procedure of visa's approval. Being the doctor, I can ask the visa on behalf of our Ministry of Health, because if the applicant have good official support from official bodies, if the applicant have official recommendations and directions to various sorts of conference, seminars, - it will relieve of necessity to wait for some months the decision of the commission, and will remove all problems connected with necessity to prove that the purpose of travel is not emigration. Being the doctor I will have support and guarantees from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation, and it is certainly the best guarantor. Of course I must visit improbable quantity of the departments, to collect improbable quantity of documents, to find as many as possibly of other official legal persons, institutions and people for support; to get petitions. But if I will quickly collect all necessary documents, I will get the visa in one or two weeks! So I have filed an application for the visa, Mark, with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some days with me! I do not ask you about anything. I will use my monetary savings and I will make everything by self. It is my vacation and I will not be a burden. Would you be happy to spend some days with me soon, Mark? Anyway, we must meet. It is possible to wait eternally. But I believe that I will get my vacation not accidentally; and I believe that the accounting department will be closed at the same time not accidentally as well. It is not coincidence! It is time to make a choice, to make the decision, to take new step. Maybe such opportunity will not be repeated again. I so long waited my vacation and I want my vacation to be especial. What can be better than a meeting of two friends? The first meeting. It is simply delightful and I thank destiny that I have got such an opportunity,- an opportunity to meet my dear friend, the opportunity to learn each other in real life, the opportunity to enjoy time which we can spend together. And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in our lifes and in our relations. And I am really happy to get a vacation because it is time which I can spend in any way I want, and I want to spend this vacation with you Mark! So what will you tell? Would you like to spend time with me? Would you be glad to meet me? Would you be happy to have the first meeting at your airport? I will wait for your answer with pleasure. Your sincere Nadezhda.


November 1, 2012

Hi my Mark! I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the same time! And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready to jump and dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Mark! Thank you for your letter and your thoughts. My dear, I can tell exact date of my trip only when I will get the visa. I cannot tell to you right now. I still do not know an exact date of beginning of my vacation. I said to you approximate date, but anyhow I will plan my travel beforehand and when I will know exact dates, I will inform to you. Every day I think - what my friend Mark will tell me today, what mood he will have today? And as soon as I get free minute, I rush to accounting department to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my thoughts. These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs which in my mind will be transformed into small movie, movie about you, my dear Mark. And you cannot imagine at all how it wonderfully! Sometimes I think, what would be if I have not found the boldness in myself to write you? What would be if I didn't believe that I can find a man in such a way? I always want to think that I the courageous woman, but I feel that actually it is not so. I am ready to give my life for the sake of person who are close and dear for me, I am ready to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of other person but when I think of myself, I often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the fire's smoke. I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask people about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer. Not always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not answered my first letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know what I did today? First off, I should tell that I slept with a smile on my face! At least when I have woken up and have looked at the mirror, I have noticed that I smile! Then, I cleaned a teeth and I had smile! Then, I jog and I smiled as if actually I watched funny movie. Then, I have cooked a breakfast and drank a coffee with a smile on my face! Then, I have come to clinic, and I could not hide my smile. I was ready to laugh and I at all had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom for the doctor! (Smile). Everything around have seemed to me a beautiful and wonderful. And even the severe boss, when have seen that I look at him and I smile, he began to survey himself attentively and even have come near to the mirror to see if anything wrong! He has thought that something wrong with his clothes! All the day I work with smile on my face! Nailya looks at me and smiles as well. Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well! And when time of sleep will come, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on my face! And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you! I smile because I think of you, Mark! And it brings joy! I am so happy that I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life! I have to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after work I will have one more working day! (Smile). You may ask what I mean? The preparation for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I must do for our meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working day or to allow me to take some hours off in the middle of day to make some things, because after 5 pm not all departments works! Of course now I should work in the days off to have more of free time at week-days. But thoughts about our meeting give me force and energy! I am sure that everything will be perfectly! I will wait your letter! Please, write me because I need your letters and support more than ever! Your Nadezhda!


November 6, 2012

Hi My Mark! Thank you for your letters. You became the most dazzling moment of my day! How I wish you saw how Nailya is happy that we will meet! She is sure that our meeting will make us happy. It is simply impossible to talk to her now! (Smile). She has now only one theme for conversation - you Mark! She constantly asks about you, asks - what I will do together with you, she asks - what I will do at the airport, she asks - what I will cook for you. She asks how I am going to impress you, to intrigue! She even asks how I will tempt you! (Smile). She say that I do everything correctly and I should not be afraid of anything at all. To conquer the road can only one who goes on this road. Nailya is very glad that I have found you, and she sends you her friendly greetings and a wishes of happy expectation of me! (Smile). Mark, please, don't be angry with me if I cannot write you much now. I hope you understand that I even after my working day in clinic must do too much for our meeting. Today I will go to Ministry of Health. I think this is one of the most important deals for me right now. Today I will give them the all my medical documents and tomorrow I will probably get all documents and forms of petitions which I must fill out as soon as possible. Then I will go to Army Garrison where were working my parents. They must collect for me all the information about my parents, about history of the death of my father and mother. I must have data about work of my parents not only in this Army Garrison, but also in all others Garrisons where my parents worked during all life. To make it extremely difficultly, if to take into account that my parents worked in Army Garrisons in various points of our huge country. But I am sure that I will get the information because here many officers who remember my father, and I hope they will be glad to help me. Mark, today I feel that I start to worry more than I even could imagine. I am very glad that I do all this. And I think of our meeting every minute. The meeting at the airport... I don't think that many people on our planet have an opportunity to enjoy such a delightful moment - the moment of the first meeting at the airport. It is so beautiful. I feel that it will be very touching moment for each of us. I never travelled so far away. And I worry very much. But I imagine us together and it calms me down. I see us together, I see us walking in the park; I see us speaking about serious and about silly things, or playing cards or a checkers (and the one who lose will execute any desire of the winner (smile)), I see wonderful dinners at home and outside! I see you sitting on a sofa with a juicy peach in your hand and I see me dancing in front of you beautiful dance, or maybe even erotic dance (smile), how about Belly dance? (Smile). I do it stunningly!(Smile). I see us swimming; I see us on a roof of a house, watching the full moon; I see us fighting by pillows; I see us in the evening at home, with romantic light of candles; I see us cooking together Russian pelmenies and American pizza (smile); I see me in your embraces. All this waits for us in the near future; and I enjoy, anticipating this delightful time together! Do you feel the same, Mark? Mark, would you like to give me massage of my back? I would like to give you massage! But I must warn you, that if you want to give me massage, you should not touch my ribs!(Smile) The reason - I the most ticklish woman in Russia(smile). Mark, I madly am afraid of titillation! If someone tickles my foot or ribs, I begin to laugh loudly, to kick and to scratch, to squeal and to jump! Therefore if you will give me massage and you will tickle me, you will feel like a cowboy on a wild undomesticated mare on the rodeo! (Smile). By the way, Mark, are you ticklish? Do you snore? (Forgive me for this question. Do not answer, if you do not want. Maybe one day I will find out all this all the same! (Smile). Will you sing serenades for me? I would be happy if you would sing serenades and songs for me! I would remunerate you by kisses! (Smile). Mark, I should finish the letter. I must do much so that you had an opportunity to give me massage and to get the massage from me! (Smile). Please, write me because now I need you and your letters very very strongly, because I worry so much...
Your Nadezhda.


November 7, 2012

Hi my dear Mark! Every morning I wake up with a pleasant thought of our meeting! And each new day reduces distance between us! Every new day makes us closer to each other. I so hope that we will meet. Mark, I the doctor, but I cannot think of anything except of our meeting!(Smile). Even my patients have noticed it! I do not drink vodka, but in Holidays I drink champagne and red wine. I not the great expert in wine. But I like red wine. I drink wine made in Moldova and Bulgaria. Mark, Nailya say that last time she saw me such a happy many years back - when I was the student girl! She asserts that you have changed me absolutely! I began often to get my hairbrush and to correct my hairstyle! (Smile). I began often to sing songs aloud! (Smile). I began often to immerse into the world of fantasies so, that sometimes I at all don't hear someone talks to me or asks me about something! (Smile). It is so amusingly, pleasantly and unusually! She is very grateful to you and very glad that we will meet! She helps me by all possible ways. Mark, do you remember in my very first small letter I have told that I want to find a man who will compel my soul to blossom? I want to tell you, that my soul blossoms! You have brought a spring into my soul and now I feel like a flower blossoming under long-awaited beams of the warm sun! Thank you Mark! Mark, you cannot imagine what tense time I have now. I actually haven't even one free minute. I already was in Ministry of Health and I got all petitions! It is great! In the Ministry I have been told that I must visit all patients which I visit on a "Trip Day"- they must fill up forms of petitions for me. Of course they will be happy to do it. These people love me and all doctors who visits them! It will be a big support for me. The Ministry will make the report about my work in the difficult places where not each person is ready to work. I also will get the report and the characteristic from my clinic. Tomorrow I and Nailya will have our own "Trip Day"! We will go together to those settlements. Probably we will go there not only tomorrow but also the day after tomorrow because the one day is not enough to visit all people who knows me. After that I must legalize all documents at the notary. Nailya will help me to get the full report about my biography in Municipal Department. If Nailya will be able to agree with them, they will get for me the information about me and my family from all Municipal Departments of those regions where I and my parents lived during all life. By self we would never get all this information. I get tired very much not only spiritually, but physically as well. And when I come home, I simply fall onto a bed, and I simply lie on a bed some time looking at a ceiling. But if we will do everything quickly, I will have interview with the commission. After this interview the commission will inform me if my visa is approved or not. Tomorrow I will have also consultation - preparation for interview. It is very important point for me as well! Maybe I worry too much, but I cannot calm myself! Forgive me that I write to you about my cares. But I really worry. I knew that I must do much for our meeting, but I at all could not assume that I will worry. Nailya says that if she would be on my place, she would become confused and simply would not know what to do. She says that she envies my endurance and the power of will. I never told her,- but actually I often feel fear, I often feel like weak woman. I really need moral support. I since the childhood make all decisions by self, and my parents taught me never to show weakness or confusion. And I always tried to do without anybody's help or advice, even though in my heart I often feel like very weak woman. Mark, are you the leader in relationship with woman? Do you like to make the decision by self?

P.S. Mark, please tell me again the name and the code of the International Airport up to which I must fly!!! I must be sure, that I have the correct information.

Your Nadezhda.


November 8, 2012

Hi my Mark! Thank you for your letters. I am so happy. Thoughts about you calm my heart. You don't know how all your words are important for me. I know what emotion you write me with, and your emotions caress my heart. And I know hundreds of words, that could help me to tell you how you are important, dear and wonderful for me. And I so wait for that a moment when I will be able to tell you these all words, at the same time looking into your eyes. I so wait for that a moment when I will see your smile and I will read in your smile all your thoughts. And now my heart enjoys fine feeling - feelings of waiting and hope that soon our meeting will come true. And sometimes it is simply impossible by means of only words to express all shades of joy. Any words cannot replace a glance and a smile, any words are not able to replace tenderness of touch. I will tell you something good! If you would see how I worry. But I waited for this news for a long time. And I cannot imagine at all how I will worry the following some days! Anyhow, today I finally got the invitation! I will have the interview with the commission! It is the most important point for me. I prepared to this for a long time. After I will have interview I will find out the final decision! The commission will inform me their decision, and then you and I will know if we will meet or not. I don't want to say "IF", but it is really a very difficult and tense moment. And I am simply not sure if I will have confidence and self-control. But I have to calm down myself. My worry - our enemy. I think I am ready. I feel that I can do and tell everything correctly, and we will meet! You should be with me in your thoughts. Without you I so am afraid! I have almost all documents which should impress the commission. I hope that everything what I have made will help us. Please, tell me that you believe in it. Be with me in your thoughts. I hope nothing bad will happen to me anymore. And I am happy that Nailya and I didn't get any traumas today. I cannot imagine at all what would be in this case. But I am ok, and it is most important. I will think of you, so please, think of me as well. With all my tenderness. Your Nadezhda.


P.S. I asked Nailya to make a special photo for you. I put it with this letter. I     feel like a "mischievous child" who teases you. Do not be angry at me.


November 9, 2012

Hi my Mark! Thank you for your letter! I write to you the letter and I smile. I am so happy. I think that everything most difficult has remained behind us! I had the interview! I knew that it will be difficult conversation, but I could not imagine at all that I must answer to so many questions. And prior to the beginning of interview I have been so frightened, I so worried. But as soon as they have asked the first question, I at once became absolutely calmed down. I have ceased to worry absolutely. I simply sat, and, looking directly into eyes of the commission simply and straight answered to questions. I spoke everything what I think, in all sincerity, as always. They asked me actually about everything! They asked me about my life, about my childhood, about death of my parents, about terrorism, about my work, about my last relationship. They have read all documents which I has collected. They asked me why I work voluntary in such a difficult places. They asked me about my belief in God. And often I saw on their faces that they expected from me not such the answers, but I didn't want to speak beautiful things which pleasantly to listen to. I simply spoke sincerely all what in my heart. They have told that such the answers are the big rarity for the applicant. Because usually applicants do not answer so sincerely. Usually, applicants think some time and try to answer so that the answer was most convenient for the commission. And first I thought that my answers have not satisfied them, but they have told that to listen to my answers very pleasantly and unusually. They have told that "bitter" sincerity always better than "sweet" flattery. Besides, they really have been impressed with fact that I had such a great support from many people living in different regions. Mark! Maybe in some hours I will find out the decision!!!!! I can't believe. I feel that I did all correctly. Today I saw my parents in my sleep-dream, and they smiled to me. I know that it is their approval. I see my parents in sleep-dream very seldom! I always knew that dream will never simply fall into hands from the sky. I always knew that if you want the dream to come true, you must do for this purpose all what in your forces. I know that it is necessary to believe, hope and struggle. And I really struggled, I tried to do all what in my forces. And I hope God will help us. After all difficulties, after all efforts I believe that everything will be fine! I really feel that I did everything well. I worry very much, but my heart say to me that I should smile. And I smile today. I feel that I will meet you. I feel that the meeting at the airport will be beautiful and romantic. I will tell you everything what I will feel at that moment, and you will tell me. And then we will leave the airport and we will chatter and laugh. I will tell you how I endured the flight in the plane and what I was thinking about. You will tell me how you waited for me at the airport. And then we will have a wonderful time together. We will walk, spend evenings, to watch funny and scary movies, - and I will hide under your hand at the most scary moment... We will meet together the first beams of the sun and will see off a magnificent sunset. We will sit near a window and to drink hot tea while in the street will be a strong rain. How I want to have a breakfast together and a supper with candles. How I want to shout together with you at the baseball stadium; or simply to lay on a bed, and to tell each other about a life. How I want all this - simple things which will bring to us so many joy. If everything will be fine, I will start the most difficult process - preparation of my suitcase! (Smile). Right now I talked with the boss, and he has told that probably today I will find out an exact date of beginning of my vacation! But I have to go! My legs shiver as if I the schoolgirl! (Smile). Wish me luck and think of me!
Your Nadezhda.


November 12, 2012

Hi, my Love.
I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy! The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy!!!! I as well have found out that I will get vacation November, 22 2012. I have been to the company that reserves airway tickets. I asked them how I can reach Houston and how much it costs. They have offered to me the roundtrip ticket that costs $1429 USD. I asked them to find cheapest ticket, because this price is expensive for me. They have answered that they have a cheaper roundtrip ticket and the beginning of the flight November, 25 2012. It costs $1042 USD. It was the best variant for me. I asked them to reserve a ticket. But they refused, because they can't reserve the ticket without advance payment. I must pay full cost. I have asked if I can pay a part of money now, and the other part later. They have told that it is possible, but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses. I paid $ 564 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what Nailya and I could do - we pawned our earrings and gold rings and I got $ 94 USD. That is all I could do. The number of the flight on which I will get the ticket is Transaero Airlines 7062 The time of departure from Moscow is 11:15am. The time of arrival in Houston (IAH) is 2:10pm. I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did, I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult. But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise. I am always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation. To get the visa I have spent much more money than I expected. But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 400 dollars to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. We get a vacation payment after ending of a vacation. I asked to give me this money now because I need this money urgently. But, at the last moment I have got the answer that I can get this money urgently only in case of serious illness or for example in case of death of the relative. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is $ 384 USD. And I must pay money before November, 16, evening. Otherwise I will lose my nested money and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely. But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that for you it is too big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And 400 dollars which I have spent to get the visa, and 658 $ that I have given for the ticket are huge money for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, send money to the help before November, 16, evening. I want you to be confident in my sincerity, that is why I send you the scanner of my visa. I want you to see the result of my efforts. I address to you only because I need it right now, because the anti- emigration committee waits for me with all documents and I am obliged to come to committee according to appointed term. I do not know if you can to help me. But I have no other exit. I need you. If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Nailya said that you can help me with the help of remittance system. So I have addressed to the nearest bank the agent ''Western Union''. I have been told that they use the system ''Western Union''. They have told that it is very convenient office for me; and this system works always and reliably. I give you necessary elements for sending money with the help of ''Western Union'':
The name of bank: AKIBANK
CITY - Voronezh
STREET - Stankevicha, 7
ZIP - 394006
for ANTONOWA NADEZHDA.
In bank I have been told, that to get the money, I must tell to employee of bank your full name, your full address, exact sent sum and the confidential number - Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN). You will get this number in your bank if you will send your help. Only with presence of all this information I can get your help.   I do not know what answer I will get from you. I very much am afraid that you will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I understand that it is big money. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger. I really ask you to help me. I will give you back all your money at the earliest opportunity. I have written you honestly and sincerely. Are you with me?
Your Nadezhda.

At this time I called her bluff and refused to send the money. Her response is below.


November 13, 2012

Hi my DEAR! I understand you my dear! Forgive me. It is my fault. I understand you and you are not guilty that I have not found all the money. I will not come to you, but I do not want you to be angry with me. I tried to do all that in my power. Forgive me. It will be the most bad vacation in my life because I will spend it without you. All that waits for me in the future are long lonely days and nights. But it is my mistake. Forgive me.
Your Nadezhda.



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