Russian Brides Cyber Guide
If you decided to find yourself a Russian wife, you would be inundated with questions of the type "Why Russian Women?" from everybody you cared to share your idea with.
Surprisingly, every Russian woman you are writing to will ask the same question: "Why do you want to find a wife in Russia?"
After a while, you might start questioning your own sanity in doing the thing which everybody, including your dates in this Internet rendezvous, consider strange enough to request explanations.
Since I've been there myself (I mean, asking explanations) I want to give you some ready to use answers, from which you can pick out the ones you like the most.
[I think I will also send to this page all reporters and journalists whose first question is always, invariably and predictably, "Why western men want to meet Russian women?" lol]
So here is the list of true and candid answers that I give you full re-usable rights for - as long as you do not post it on the Internet under your own name
I will also provide some instructions on how and where to use them (handle with care!).
1. Russian women are famous for their beauty
This answer is the best when used for male friends and Russian women themselves. For men, it is apparent that a more beautiful woman is preferred to the one who is less beautiful, and it makes your actions look if not completely sane, then at least justifiable.
For Russian women, it is a compliment, which she would dispute if it were directed to her humble person, but as a representative of the nation that is famous for the beauty of its women, this she can accept without waking up her insecurity complex; so you are killing two birds with one stone: satisfying her curiosity with the answer, which she is doomed to like, and firing a safe form of the beauty compliment that you were dying to make.
I would not suggest to use this answer for western females though, including your own family and friends, since they will be thinking you are a chauvinistic pig and for you women only exist as sexual objects (which is their only pleasant function indeed - just kidding ;-) - with one exception: if you want to pay your ex back for all the name calling you have had to put up with for years, then do tell her that Russian women are beautiful: "MUCH more beautiful than western women..." lol
While of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I cannot resist expressing my personal opinion on this matter, regarding women in general and Russian women in particular. (Naturally, I am just taking advantage of your ears, and you can safely skip this paragraph.) I firmly believe that physically western women have the same potential of beauty as Russian women. Any woman can look beautiful if she cares to.
Here in the office I have 4 very young local girls working for me, and they all would be absolutely stunning if: (1) they used the same make up as Russian girls of their age do; (2) had the same hairstyles; (3) swapped their jeans, cargo pants and trainers to mini-skirts and high-heeled shoes; (4) shed off a few pounds; (5) removed excessive body piercing and tattoos -- which I, being of a generation when tattoos were made only in prisons and rings in the noses could only be seen in the books about African history, still cannot come to terms with. (One of them is going to proofread this article so I think I'd better stop here.)
So, the beauty of Russian women comes from the fact that they do bother to look attractive for men. It is the whole system of values that requires from a Russian woman to be, first of all, a wife and a mother, in order to be a respected member of the society (which in its turn requires from her, naturally, to be married); and since there are more available women than men (88 men for 100 women, according to "The Economist: "World In Figures; 2004 Edition"), women have to ensure they will attract somebody's attention and be able keep this attention, so they have to look their best. It is difficult to get a committed man and it's not easy to keep him. The only way a woman can reach this goal is by being attractive.
Russian women are slim (they eat small portions and don't have money to buy all the food they like in the grocery shop), toned (they have to do a lot of walking since they don't have cars), and well groomed (most women will never step our of their flats without a proper make up). They enjoy dressing feminine and stylish, and often make their clothes themselves. (I still have a few jerseys that I knitted myself and brought with me from Russia.)
I often read in magazines how western female stars, having 7-figure yearly incomes, complain that being beautiful is a full-time job. Walking instead of driving, growing their food and making their dresses themselves, Russian women manage this job graciously and happily, being on a very tough budget. They are their own stylists, designers, make up artists, dieticians and personal trainers, and the fact that so many men believe that Russian women are more beautiful than western women is a great credit to their work. I feel it would be the ultimate injustice to take away this credit from them. (End of the paragraph to skip.)
2. Russian women are highly educated and intelligent
This answer is good to use with your co-workers and family members that believe good education secures success in life.
About 90% of Russian women advertising on the Internet have college or university degrees. The reasons for that are: (1) nearly 60% of people in Russia have graduated from a college or university (high school qualification was mandatory in the Soviet Union); (2) it is mostly educated women that feel they have what it gets to make an international relationship happen and who can SPEAK ENGLISH with their Internet dates. You also must be somewhat out of the ordinary to decide there are some other pastures except the one you are accustomed to.
I would say people in Russia have better general knowledge than western people though the system of specialized professional training is better developed in the west.
Difficult life makes people think, and throughout the 20th century, life in Russia was anything but easy. Russians always had to use their brains to survive their basic day-to-day existence, and practice makes perfect.
Russian people also read much more than an average westerner, since books are cheap and the habit of reading still has not been replaced by computer games and other entertainment due to expensiveness of the equipment. In seventies and eighties, books in Russia were in fashion, and most people have extensive home libraries (having thousands of books at home is nothing special). If you travel in an underground train in Moscow, you will be amazed by the number of people who read books on the ride. Russians used to consider themselves "The most reading nation in the world", and I think it was true.
Most westerners that visit Russia define Russian people as "smart".
3. Russian women have traditional family values
This answer you can also use for your male acquaintances and, with some modifications, for Russian women (you should tell them that you like Russian women's attitudes towards family; the word "values" has a different meaning in Russian).
It is true that family is very important for Russian women. As it was described earlier, a Russian woman should be married with children in order to have a respectable social status. No career success can substitute this need of having her own family. In Russia a woman who has never been married is looked down upon. In other words, the Russian definition of success for a woman includes marriage and children as the primary conditions.
This is the reason why Russian women put greater importance on finding a suitable partner for marriage than on making their own careers, which many westerners (especially women) interpret as "parasitic" and "lazy". In fact, Russian women are not afraid of hard work, and they are used to working, but their natural instinct tells them they must find a male who will be able to provide for his female while she is busy with their offspring and unable to support the family on her own. This is why Russian women prefer men that are established in life, especially when a woman has to go to a new country where she is not sure of her employment perspectives.
The other reason why Russian women prefer putting their values on family rather than on a career is that the Russian career market is still very discriminative towards women. A man always has a better prospective than a woman of the same education and talent. This also has to do with general values of the Russian society, as it is expected from a woman to sacrifice or neglect her career when she gets married.
Usually a woman will have a child shortly after marriage, and according to the Russian law the company has to pay her a very long maternity leave (up to 1.5 years), and also pay her sick leave when she sits at home with a sick child, and small kids are often sick. Sick leave in Russia is certified by a doctor until the person is 100% healthy, which is usually 10-14 days, and during this time the mother stays at home with the child and the company pays her full salary. Therefore, the lawful maternity benefits make women undesirable employees. Naturally, employers prefer to give promotions to men who are habitually considered primary family providers and will be more committed to their work after they are married.
Therefore, the cultural disposition for women is to find their self-realization in a family, and for men - to find it in a career. Normally, a Russian woman will prefer to help her husband in building his career rather than building her own (for example, if there is enough money for only one person to study, she will prefer the man to get a better qualification in order to promote his career). This fact has nothing to do with parasitism but with distribution of the family responsibilities: Russian women firmly believe that it is the responsibility of a woman to provide a warm and loving home, and the man's responsibility is to provide for this home financially.
A Russian woman will be happy to provide a second income for the family, if needed, but she will feel uncomfortable if her income is bigger than her husband's, and will try to help him to succeed.
In this sense, we can conclude that Russian women still hold traditional family values where the man is the leader in the family. If you ask any Russian woman, who do you think should be the leader in the family, she will say she wants a man who will be the leader. Russian women happily give men the leading role, and do not see anything wrong with needing a man in their lives.
At the same time Russian women do not want to be ordered around, and want partnership in a marriage. They want to be respected and appreciated. They are not doormats. For them, marriage is a union of equals.
4. You can find in Russia a much younger woman
This argument, again, is primarily useful for your male friends, since a younger woman is preferred to an older one for the same reasons, as a more beautiful woman is preferred to a less beautiful. It can also be used for your parents if you are over 40 and seek a woman of the child-productive age (assuming they are eager to have a blessing of grandchildren, which you failed to produce as yet).
You can, indeed, find in Russia a woman of a much younger age than can be available for you in your home country. Nearly every Russian woman will be happy with the age difference up to 10 years, most will accept the difference up to 15 years. In special cases you can get away with an even bigger age difference, but if you are not a famous writer/actor/TV-presenter/musician/etc or do not have an impressive bank balance, I am sorry to inform you that you should not bargain on special cases. Nevertheless, the "ordinary" age difference of 10-15 years is still a good reason to consider.
Why Russian women seek older men? I still, after many years of working in the Russian dating industry, cannot give a profound answer to this question.
I can only say personally that when I was looking for a man abroad, I wanted him to be at least 10 (at most 15) years older than myself. I think it is mostly due to the feeling of security that women are after. I am not talking about financial security (though having a stable job is a must if you want a Russian wife) but rather the feeling of security a woman has when marrying an older man: most likely, he will not leave her for somebody younger and will appreciate her.
Russian men are very promiscuous, and it is not rare that a man leaves his wife at the age of 35-40 for a girl in her twenties. Having to move to a strange country, this is the last thing women want to happen to them. Thus, marrying an older man, a woman feels more secure than marrying a man of her age, even if they would have the same financial stability.
Marrying a foreigner for a Russian woman is still like a fairy-tale (during Soviet times it was considered to be a great success to marry a foreigner and move to the "free" western world), so if this man is also handsome and young, she might feel "it is too good to be true" and is very likely to decline such a relationship. With an older man she feels "it is the real thing".
Actually, in Russia, women usually marry men of their own age or 2-3 years older. But when they look for partners abroad, they would prefer a little bigger age difference. This trend is often explained by financial security that men gain with age, but in my opinion it is not true since the vast majority of Russian women have no idea how to distinguish if the man has money (I am often asked this question, how to figure out if the man is not broke).
So I believe the feeling of psychological comfort is very important for Russian women ("it is the real thing" as oppose to "it is too good to be true").
With this in mind, if you are young, you must remember she is looking for a partner for life and needs assurance that you are mature enough to get married once and forever.
5. Russian women want to get married
This reason can be used for just about anybody, and it is a very powerful reason indeed.
The dating game can be frustrating, and you never know if the girl is just enjoying going out with you, or if she is interested in spending the rest of her life with you.
When you (virtually) date a Russian woman, you can be absolutely confident that she is looking for a partner for marriage, and not just a pen pal.
6. Russian women are still happy to be women
This is again a reason for your buddies rather than your family or ex-girlfriend.
Russian women are really different from western women in this matter: they do not want to be men or compete with men. They prefer to live with men, care about their men and let men take care of them.
Feminism still has not hit Eastern Europe, and Russian women enjoy being feminine and enjoy men that are masculine. They do not try to ensure that no man will ever consider them as sexual objects; in fact, they like looking sexy and are not backing up when a man tries to approach them.
7. International marriage is a lifetime of discoveries and excitement
Use this reason as a last resort as it will prevent what your opponent was going to say right now: "OK, it is great but how are you going to live together, communicate etc?"
International marriage will never be boring - you always have something to explore! Don't misunderstand me, there are and will be some cultural differences (and this is why it makes sense to look for a wife in Russia, otherwise it would be pure masochism - going for the girl next door would be a simpler option), but you should not see it all in a negative light - learning about each other's culture is a lot of fun!
She will be able to speak English in no time (3-6 months after her arrival at most), and if people really want to communicate, they will - even without any knowledge of the language.
In fact, language is not the most difficult part. Making sure you are right for each other - that is the hard part. But it's not our topic for today, so let's round it up for now: all this hype that you read on the Net about Russian women has, apparently, a grain of truth, and looking for a wife in Russia is not madness but a sensible thing to do if you are looking for a romance that will clear the clouds from the sky.
"Because you're worth it."
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